I enjoyed this meditation. It's something similar to what I do at bedtime every night, in prayer. Usually, I am sending out prayers and my hopes and wishes for others, which is what feels natural to me. Doing the same for myself feels strange, but I appreciate the reminder, in this guided meditation, that I do deserve the same. Thank you for this.
Thank you for this meditation. The Candlelight Chat with Sharon Salzberg was wonderful, and, like many of the participants, I was teary-eyed at the end. I appreciate the meditation you shared in this thread because it addresses not only extending lovingkindness to yourself but to others as we are prompted to use our gifts, whatever they might be, for good. There are times when I think that my comfort in being quiet or ruminating is too self-serving and reflects too much self-absorption (the guilt factor). Your suggested meditation is a reminder that in caring for myself I am renewed and more centered and perhaps better able to be present with and care for others in a meaningful way.
Thanks for this reminder. I definitely have trouble loving myself and if anything, I berate myself a lot more than love myself. However, when it comes to others, I am able to be very kind and forgiving and loving.
Criticism is one of my worst enemies — specifically self criticism. I get mad at myself over why I’m not following my dreams and goals, which puts me into a slump, then I feel paralyzed and unable to make any progress. However, when I do get the motivation to do something, I have this really high expectation that it’ll be a masterpiece instantly and when it doesn’t turn out that way, I get mad at myself.
I need to give myself the same kindness that I show others. Maybe that way, I can move forward in a better way.
It’s very hard to be alone without ruminating about comparing. This culture seems so phony to me. There’s loads of online courses for self esteem…..everything! And in the world around me, the vulnerable parts are covered with “all good”. It’s taking a lot of work to sort through it all.
I am a paid subscriber to Susan Cain's Quiet life. I guess I am stupid, but I can not find the archives of the Sunday cndle lite meetings. I found the archive button but theire was only one Sunday candle lite there and I think it was the first one. Can I get some help? My name is Marilyn Ghanem. My email is mghanem60@gmail.com. Thanks for any help you can give me.
Oh my goodness, Marilyn. You are not stupid! I think it's tricky to find them, too. The easiest way to find them is by clicking on the magnifying glass in the top right (ish) corner of Substack...and enter the word "replay" and all of them come up. Hopefully we'll be able to come up with a more obvious solution. If you need me to provide links for you, please don't hesitate to ask!
Thank you, Susan. Yes, i now know that self-love is very important because i've seen its effects when i do so. About my country, i HATE TO call it my country (i wish, like Einstein, i was able to renounce my Persian citizenship and live in a country where people treat me like a human being and appreciate my skills in various areas). And finally, i won't stop until i've actualized my dreams, because one of my long-term resolutions is "having no regrets in life".
Several years ago I experienced big trauma and big change and one of the books that came into my life was Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection. I felt truly grateful for my existing yoga, exercise, and mindfulness practices because I had a ballast to keep me upright. Yet Real Love was a life changer and has been a meditation focus for me ever since. I will share my words to encourage others to find their words, as for me they have been a very happy constant in my practice.
To me: Love yourself, Trust yourself, Forgive yourself, Be patient with yourself - I always hug my heart center when I do this.
To others as I spiral out: Be safe, Be happy, Be healthy - I always have an outward-facing prayer pose when I do this.
I haven't loved myself as much as before because lately, i've criticized myself harshly over why i don't do anything to pave the way for achieving my dreams, and why i still continue to (seemingly) living happily in a country where women are murdered because they want more freedoms, hijab included (they don't wanna wear hijab, and the government's brainwashed female commandos beat them to death over this). As a result of this criticism, i've become fatter than before (not that i was very thin when i was born, i was a chubby baby, and heavier than both my brothers).
Anyway, whenever i wanna show my self-love, i use nail polishes (some are glittery, some non-glittery. Their colors are these: milky white, black, grey, red, yellow, and pink).
Oy...I both can and can't imagine what this must be like, Negar, and thank you for sharing so openly with us. I do know that you will be of more use to yourself, to your dreams, and to your country, if you start with self-love. So here's to your nail polishes, and may you keep going from there.❤️
Thank you for the reminders -- that I need to receive love, that I need to allow myself to receive it, that I need to practice receiving it. I've been so focused on giving lately that I needed to pause and allow myself to soak in all the love that I am being given.
It was so lovely to hear your calm and calming voice on the meditations. Thankyou. I'm not necesarily terrible loving to myself in my thoughts and inner chatter. But i do have a loving practice that i'd like to share with you. My husband and i will soon celebrate our seventh wedding anniversary. At some point early in our marriage i started a practice i continúe to this day. When i'm making our bed and i get to the point where i fold back the top sheet, on my husband's side I kiss the bottom sheet and say "I love you Amor". And on my side I kiss the bottom sheet and say "I love you Melly". It feels special each time i do it, Just consciously investing love and sending love to us both. Generally my husband isnt present when i do this, but the first time he saw me do it he was visible touched. Years later he still smiles in I think a combination of Wonder and amusement when he sees me do it. If he's helping me make the bed i encourage him to put a kiss for himself which he finds difficult to do, and i appreciate him going there even when its difficult. We are all in the making in this life, but wonderful to be reminded with your mediations (and your writing which i love) to send love to ourselves and others. Thank you Susan.
Number 3 got me. "You don't need to be pure of heart to do this...." All the things that followed: feeling angry, self-critical, etc., have taken over me and I feel so unlike myself, so unworthy of kindness from anyone, much less me. A kind person can't be so angry all the time; isn't that a contradiction? How can these severe dichotomies exist within one being? When I heard your meditation today, I didn't realize how much I needed to have those words given to me, that compassion shown to me. It struck a tender place. Thank you for sharing, Susan. I'm grateful for this today.
This was so easy for me and felt incredible.
I enjoyed this meditation. It's something similar to what I do at bedtime every night, in prayer. Usually, I am sending out prayers and my hopes and wishes for others, which is what feels natural to me. Doing the same for myself feels strange, but I appreciate the reminder, in this guided meditation, that I do deserve the same. Thank you for this.
Thank you for this, Susan. You have such a calm and soothing voice. 💜
Thank you, Susan. Sometimes, just hearing the voice of someone who brings calmness and inspiration to others (you!) is enough.
Thank you, Susan. This was short, sweet & perfect.
Thank you for this meditation. The Candlelight Chat with Sharon Salzberg was wonderful, and, like many of the participants, I was teary-eyed at the end. I appreciate the meditation you shared in this thread because it addresses not only extending lovingkindness to yourself but to others as we are prompted to use our gifts, whatever they might be, for good. There are times when I think that my comfort in being quiet or ruminating is too self-serving and reflects too much self-absorption (the guilt factor). Your suggested meditation is a reminder that in caring for myself I am renewed and more centered and perhaps better able to be present with and care for others in a meaningful way.
Thanks for this reminder. I definitely have trouble loving myself and if anything, I berate myself a lot more than love myself. However, when it comes to others, I am able to be very kind and forgiving and loving.
Criticism is one of my worst enemies — specifically self criticism. I get mad at myself over why I’m not following my dreams and goals, which puts me into a slump, then I feel paralyzed and unable to make any progress. However, when I do get the motivation to do something, I have this really high expectation that it’ll be a masterpiece instantly and when it doesn’t turn out that way, I get mad at myself.
I need to give myself the same kindness that I show others. Maybe that way, I can move forward in a better way.
It’s very hard to be alone without ruminating about comparing. This culture seems so phony to me. There’s loads of online courses for self esteem…..everything! And in the world around me, the vulnerable parts are covered with “all good”. It’s taking a lot of work to sort through it all.
I am a paid subscriber to Susan Cain's Quiet life. I guess I am stupid, but I can not find the archives of the Sunday cndle lite meetings. I found the archive button but theire was only one Sunday candle lite there and I think it was the first one. Can I get some help? My name is Marilyn Ghanem. My email is mghanem60@gmail.com. Thanks for any help you can give me.
Oh my goodness, Marilyn. You are not stupid! I think it's tricky to find them, too. The easiest way to find them is by clicking on the magnifying glass in the top right (ish) corner of Substack...and enter the word "replay" and all of them come up. Hopefully we'll be able to come up with a more obvious solution. If you need me to provide links for you, please don't hesitate to ask!
Thank you, Susan. Yes, i now know that self-love is very important because i've seen its effects when i do so. About my country, i HATE TO call it my country (i wish, like Einstein, i was able to renounce my Persian citizenship and live in a country where people treat me like a human being and appreciate my skills in various areas). And finally, i won't stop until i've actualized my dreams, because one of my long-term resolutions is "having no regrets in life".
Thank you for sharing these recordings.
Several years ago I experienced big trauma and big change and one of the books that came into my life was Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection. I felt truly grateful for my existing yoga, exercise, and mindfulness practices because I had a ballast to keep me upright. Yet Real Love was a life changer and has been a meditation focus for me ever since. I will share my words to encourage others to find their words, as for me they have been a very happy constant in my practice.
To me: Love yourself, Trust yourself, Forgive yourself, Be patient with yourself - I always hug my heart center when I do this.
To others as I spiral out: Be safe, Be happy, Be healthy - I always have an outward-facing prayer pose when I do this.
Be well.
I haven't loved myself as much as before because lately, i've criticized myself harshly over why i don't do anything to pave the way for achieving my dreams, and why i still continue to (seemingly) living happily in a country where women are murdered because they want more freedoms, hijab included (they don't wanna wear hijab, and the government's brainwashed female commandos beat them to death over this). As a result of this criticism, i've become fatter than before (not that i was very thin when i was born, i was a chubby baby, and heavier than both my brothers).
Anyway, whenever i wanna show my self-love, i use nail polishes (some are glittery, some non-glittery. Their colors are these: milky white, black, grey, red, yellow, and pink).
Oy...I both can and can't imagine what this must be like, Negar, and thank you for sharing so openly with us. I do know that you will be of more use to yourself, to your dreams, and to your country, if you start with self-love. So here's to your nail polishes, and may you keep going from there.❤️
Thank you for the reminders -- that I need to receive love, that I need to allow myself to receive it, that I need to practice receiving it. I've been so focused on giving lately that I needed to pause and allow myself to soak in all the love that I am being given.
Dear Susan,
It was so lovely to hear your calm and calming voice on the meditations. Thankyou. I'm not necesarily terrible loving to myself in my thoughts and inner chatter. But i do have a loving practice that i'd like to share with you. My husband and i will soon celebrate our seventh wedding anniversary. At some point early in our marriage i started a practice i continúe to this day. When i'm making our bed and i get to the point where i fold back the top sheet, on my husband's side I kiss the bottom sheet and say "I love you Amor". And on my side I kiss the bottom sheet and say "I love you Melly". It feels special each time i do it, Just consciously investing love and sending love to us both. Generally my husband isnt present when i do this, but the first time he saw me do it he was visible touched. Years later he still smiles in I think a combination of Wonder and amusement when he sees me do it. If he's helping me make the bed i encourage him to put a kiss for himself which he finds difficult to do, and i appreciate him going there even when its difficult. We are all in the making in this life, but wonderful to be reminded with your mediations (and your writing which i love) to send love to ourselves and others. Thank you Susan.
wow - this is incredible, Melanie. Lucky husband. ❤️
Thanks Susan. It cuts both ways "Somos dichosos" We are both blest I think. Thanks for your work and insights.
Number 3 got me. "You don't need to be pure of heart to do this...." All the things that followed: feeling angry, self-critical, etc., have taken over me and I feel so unlike myself, so unworthy of kindness from anyone, much less me. A kind person can't be so angry all the time; isn't that a contradiction? How can these severe dichotomies exist within one being? When I heard your meditation today, I didn't realize how much I needed to have those words given to me, that compassion shown to me. It struck a tender place. Thank you for sharing, Susan. I'm grateful for this today.
My next move?