"You, as much as anybody, deserve your love and affection."

And here's a guided lovingkindness meditation recording, narrated by me

“Quiet Meadow”, by Paul Evans

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
― Sharon Salzberg

Dear You,

This past Sunday, we were so lucky to have Sharon Salzberg, the legendary meditation teacher and bestselling author, join us for a Sunday Candlelight Chat. Sharon talked to us about many things, including the principles of lovingkindness (or metta) meditation, a Buddhist practice that involves sending unconditional love and goodwill to ourselves and others (without regard to whether we or they "deserve" it).

She also led us in a meditation, which was an incredible experience. Many of you wrote in to say how much it had meant to you, and how you’d like to keep this practice going.

To that end, I thought I’d share with you my own version of a guided lovingkindness meditation. I recorded this one a while ago, for the Bittersweet practices audio course, but here it is again, in case you missed it.

I’m sharing this with you on the heels of our session with Sharon, because I learned this practice from Sharon herself. She also taught me this important corollary: that some people are uncomfortable with this form of meditation, because it feels hypocritical. (Maybe we’re not really so full of love, after all.) But Sharon points out that we needn't be pure of heart to benefit from this practice. Since we're all human, at any given moment we may feel anger, skepticism, self-doubt, fear, and/or critical feelings, of ourselves and others. But, as humans, we also have a tremendous capacity to love and be loved.

And maybe that’s enough.

Here’s my introduction to metta:

And here’s my guided meditation:

I hope you enjoy and benefit from these recordings, and from this practice.

*

In the meantime, some questions to ask yourself:

*Do you find it easy or difficult (or somewhere in between) to send love to yourself?

*Do you find it easy or difficult (or somewhere in between) to send love to other people?

*Whatever your answer, ask yourself why.

And….if you’re a paid subscriber to the Quiet Life, I want to remind you of some of the benefits of your subscription, that you may or may not be using:

• You can participate in, and watch replays of, our Sunday Candlelight Chats, any time you like (e.g., like this one with Suleika Jaouad). We usually email the recordings to you a week after the event, but you can also access them on the Quiet Life site - and we’ll soon be creating a special category for these recordings, so you can find them more easily.

• Read our archive of my Kindred Letters to you, any time you like, on topics like When You’re 94: Questions to Ask Yourself Right Now and Do you love individual people, but feel unsafe in groups?

• Read additional Kindred Letters from me, for subscribers only, featuring my writing on deeper-dive and more personal topics;

• Participate in periodic chats with other members of the Quiet Life community, on subjects like navigating holiday parties, sharing creative dreams, getting older, and many more (new chats will arrive by email and via the Substack app, though I think the app is probably an easier way to join in);

• Share your own creative work with the Quiet Life community (we ask for contributions periodically);

• Know how much I appreciate you: The Quiet Love (I meant to write “The Quiet Life” but typed out this Freudian slip instead, and am going to keep it there) is a deep labor of love. Our aim is to bring you a delicious taste of a life devoted to quiet, depth, and beauty. If you share this devotion, please know that YOU are supporting our work to bring this to you - and you’re supporting your compatriots who crave this life, too.

• In fact, please know that you’re helping us carry Quiet Life members who can’t afford a subscription right now. We have scholarships for anyone in need; we never want lack of funds to be the reason for anyone declining to subscribe. Your participation makes this possible. (And if you’re reading this, and you need a scholarship for now, just send us a note at hello@thequietlife.net.)