I find this piece to be so beautiful and so very, very wise. As a highly introverted mother who wrote a book about motherhood, I found all that writing to be a haven -- a way of coming home to myself again and again -- and I also felt tremendously guilty about it. The guilt persisted even though the writing was "for a good cause," as I t…
I find this piece to be so beautiful and so very, very wise. As a highly introverted mother who wrote a book about motherhood, I found all that writing to be a haven -- a way of coming home to myself again and again -- and I also felt tremendously guilty about it. The guilt persisted even though the writing was "for a good cause," as I told myself, because I was writing toward a finished product that would help other women make sense of their complicated, messy interior worlds in motherhood. It took me a very long time to give myself true permission to turn inward, and away from my children, even though in theory (and as a clinical psychologist) I knew it was crucial for my wellbeing. I like to think I might've gotten there sooner if I'd had the powerful conceptualization Stephanie has offered us here: that parenting is an act of bearing witness, and that we cannot, at least not effectively or openheartedly, offer to our children what we withhold from ourselves. Thank you for these invaluable (and poetic!) insights.
I find this piece to be so beautiful and so very, very wise. As a highly introverted mother who wrote a book about motherhood, I found all that writing to be a haven -- a way of coming home to myself again and again -- and I also felt tremendously guilty about it. The guilt persisted even though the writing was "for a good cause," as I told myself, because I was writing toward a finished product that would help other women make sense of their complicated, messy interior worlds in motherhood. It took me a very long time to give myself true permission to turn inward, and away from my children, even though in theory (and as a clinical psychologist) I knew it was crucial for my wellbeing. I like to think I might've gotten there sooner if I'd had the powerful conceptualization Stephanie has offered us here: that parenting is an act of bearing witness, and that we cannot, at least not effectively or openheartedly, offer to our children what we withhold from ourselves. Thank you for these invaluable (and poetic!) insights.