I don't know how we came to associate intelligence with extraversion, authority with loudness, and leadership qualities with visibility. We used to think that great leaders had character, were honest, and thoughtful. Not that these are opposites in any way, these are merely different dimensions.
I would much rather have a military leader who is capable, trustworthy, and strategically outstanding than a loud person who is always in the spotlight.
But one question remains for me. Military leaders, especially, but also leaders in business and the church, lead from position, whether loud or quiet. They get their authority from three stars, three letters (starting with C), or the designation "Senior" before their functional description.
How about natural hierarchies that arise when needed around the people best suited for the job and are deconstructed when done? Their level of loudness would only be one of many characteristics, and in many situations, a rather negligible one.
Wow. This is so powerful and validating. Finally, a voice that speaks of quiet in the military, in positions of leadership that are so often characterized as needing to be loud and forceful.
I have only felt well guided in my life when I have felt seen and heard, when space was created for me that waited for me to be ready to speak. Sadly, that has been rare, but I hang onto hope for the future... For generations to come. For quiet leaders who can lead with their heart, whose voice, if we listen, can be incredibly powerful.
This was wonderful to read. Thank you. I needed this, especially given all that is going on in the United (divided) States and the world these days. Hopefully, at some point, quiet strength can save us.
Thank you for sharing this Susan. It helps me to soothe my worry about our own leadership in the United States currently. I loved her wording about introverts ..."prefer to have a bit of a think first." Aaahhh, that sits so well when looking to the path forward! Thank you General Elanor Boekholt-O'Sullivan! 😎💕
I feel like this is a deeper question. How do we receive feedback? My experience in leadership repeatedly resulted in a need to find space to step back and reflect. I found the culture of work often rewarded conformity. It is often hard to see the forest through the trees.
I so enjoyed and appreciated this post. It has helped me see more clearly what I have intuited for a long time, given language to it- much like your book Quiet. Thank you for continuing to share such thoughtful and thought-provoking posts that stir our souls in addition to our minds.
I especially love this quote- "What I learned is that introversion is not only an individual trait, but above all a quality that makes a team stronger. In a culture that often revolves around action, speed and visibility, an introverted approach brings something rare: calm, reflection and space. It is the ability to see patterns where others experience chaos. To listen before you judge. And to only say something when you really have something to say."
My supervisor Bonnie has a keen ability to be calm, reflect and offer space. She definitely sees patterns where others experience chaos. I'm grateful for her leadership role-modeling. I have found it incredibly empowering, much like this post. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing, Susan. I realized early in my career I wanted to be in a leadership role. I too received the “be more vocal” advice which didn’t fit my personality. I ended up creating my own path to visibility, and was successful as a leader. Reading Quiet encouraged me further. I then helped other introverts to do the same.
I appreciate what Elanor did by drawing attention to the strengths of introverted leaders in the military setting. I’m looking forward to reading her book!
Excellent reflection. I am more of the reflective and quieter type in past leadership roles, and this proposal accurately seeks the balance between quieter and more demonstrated human applications. Well done, and certainly applicable to the current world and political climate.
Susan, I will be rereading this more than a few times, and passing along to my daughters who share the qualities of introversion.
A funny story: When I taught, I had the following sign, written pretty small, but visible at the front of my classroom: Before you speak, ask yourself: Is it kind, is it true, does it improve upon the silence." It's an edited version of a talk attributed to a few different Buddhist philosophers. Well, I put the sign there for all the teachers who would come into my room, loud and chatty, always having something to say. But they never saw it as being about themselves. Self-reflection is challenging when you're always talking.
An important example: I want to recommend listening to and watching the police department chief of Minneapolis, Brian O'Hara. He was on 60 Minutes last night. That felt like a fine example of quiet leadership in action. He said what he had to say - no more, no less. In our times of loud, attention seeking behaviors, watching him almost made me cry. Though I'm quite sure many in Minnespolis, having a more up close experience with him, might disagree.
I don't know how we came to associate intelligence with extraversion, authority with loudness, and leadership qualities with visibility. We used to think that great leaders had character, were honest, and thoughtful. Not that these are opposites in any way, these are merely different dimensions.
I would much rather have a military leader who is capable, trustworthy, and strategically outstanding than a loud person who is always in the spotlight.
But one question remains for me. Military leaders, especially, but also leaders in business and the church, lead from position, whether loud or quiet. They get their authority from three stars, three letters (starting with C), or the designation "Senior" before their functional description.
How about natural hierarchies that arise when needed around the people best suited for the job and are deconstructed when done? Their level of loudness would only be one of many characteristics, and in many situations, a rather negligible one.
Wow. This is so powerful and validating. Finally, a voice that speaks of quiet in the military, in positions of leadership that are so often characterized as needing to be loud and forceful.
I have only felt well guided in my life when I have felt seen and heard, when space was created for me that waited for me to be ready to speak. Sadly, that has been rare, but I hang onto hope for the future... For generations to come. For quiet leaders who can lead with their heart, whose voice, if we listen, can be incredibly powerful.
This was wonderful to read. Thank you. I needed this, especially given all that is going on in the United (divided) States and the world these days. Hopefully, at some point, quiet strength can save us.
Thank you for sharing this Susan. It helps me to soothe my worry about our own leadership in the United States currently. I loved her wording about introverts ..."prefer to have a bit of a think first." Aaahhh, that sits so well when looking to the path forward! Thank you General Elanor Boekholt-O'Sullivan! 😎💕
I feel like this is a deeper question. How do we receive feedback? My experience in leadership repeatedly resulted in a need to find space to step back and reflect. I found the culture of work often rewarded conformity. It is often hard to see the forest through the trees.
I so enjoyed and appreciated this post. It has helped me see more clearly what I have intuited for a long time, given language to it- much like your book Quiet. Thank you for continuing to share such thoughtful and thought-provoking posts that stir our souls in addition to our minds.
I especially love this quote- "What I learned is that introversion is not only an individual trait, but above all a quality that makes a team stronger. In a culture that often revolves around action, speed and visibility, an introverted approach brings something rare: calm, reflection and space. It is the ability to see patterns where others experience chaos. To listen before you judge. And to only say something when you really have something to say."
My supervisor Bonnie has a keen ability to be calm, reflect and offer space. She definitely sees patterns where others experience chaos. I'm grateful for her leadership role-modeling. I have found it incredibly empowering, much like this post. Thank you!
Thank you for this post. It validates the importance of being authentic.
Thank you for sharing, Susan. I realized early in my career I wanted to be in a leadership role. I too received the “be more vocal” advice which didn’t fit my personality. I ended up creating my own path to visibility, and was successful as a leader. Reading Quiet encouraged me further. I then helped other introverts to do the same.
I appreciate what Elanor did by drawing attention to the strengths of introverted leaders in the military setting. I’m looking forward to reading her book!
Fantastic post and contribution, particularly in this age where performative expression is so reinforced.
Excellent reflection. I am more of the reflective and quieter type in past leadership roles, and this proposal accurately seeks the balance between quieter and more demonstrated human applications. Well done, and certainly applicable to the current world and political climate.
Susan, I will be rereading this more than a few times, and passing along to my daughters who share the qualities of introversion.
A funny story: When I taught, I had the following sign, written pretty small, but visible at the front of my classroom: Before you speak, ask yourself: Is it kind, is it true, does it improve upon the silence." It's an edited version of a talk attributed to a few different Buddhist philosophers. Well, I put the sign there for all the teachers who would come into my room, loud and chatty, always having something to say. But they never saw it as being about themselves. Self-reflection is challenging when you're always talking.
An important example: I want to recommend listening to and watching the police department chief of Minneapolis, Brian O'Hara. He was on 60 Minutes last night. That felt like a fine example of quiet leadership in action. He said what he had to say - no more, no less. In our times of loud, attention seeking behaviors, watching him almost made me cry. Though I'm quite sure many in Minnespolis, having a more up close experience with him, might disagree.