So so many thoughts….this is such a beautiful piece. I think of all the teachers I’ve worked with over the years (as the school social worker) and how they didn’t understand all the internal struggles the neurodivergent kids were experiencing, how horrible class parties and group projects were for these kids… among other things. I am not working in schools anymore, I do hope the model for leading groups, differentiating in the classroom and fostering belonging in the classroom has shifted. Dandelion is a promising program I read about. Used by some big tech companies, the stuff a program that is exploring how to make interviewing and social nuance in the workplace easier to follow for the neurodivergent folks. Different kinds of interviews, a mentor to help with important nuance….email etiquette and tone etc.
There’s a pool of untapped talent that’s missed due to rigid anxiety producing interviewing practices that weed out candidates that don’t do classic interviews well. These interview techniques often don’t capture the unique brilliance found in high functioning autism or neurodivergent folks. Appreciate you shining a light on this topic Susan…💗
I have never been diagnosed, but I have my life experience to go on, and I can relate to everything in the excerpt and have had similar experiences. I am best in a quiet setting, one-on-one with people.
I am introverted, neurodivergent, and severely deaf. I love my job, but work is a challenge for me. I do my job well. I struggle with working in groups because people do not consider other people’s differences. I shut down in group settings because I can’t keep up. I am 57 years old. I feel no different now than I did 40 years ago. I hoped awareness would make a difference in how people interact with me, but it hasn’t. I look forward to reading this book. Thank you for sharing.
I totally relate to the excerpts given to us. I am ND, and introverted. So-called “Team Building” exercises do not—in any way, shape or form. Thank you, Susan, for sharing these passages with us.
I'm introverted, HSP, probably Asperger's. It's such a relief for me to work remotely, I get to skip all the office life that would drain me completely. Team building activities are a nightmare (I've had a few when visiting the company's HQ), I feel the same way as the author, I've no idea what is expected of me and I avoid those as much as I can. It sounds like a great book, I'll probably read it when it becomes available in the US. Thank you Susan for this post.
Have be told that could be on the spectrum plus introversion, but didn't really get that sort insight or help where I'm from but always had hard time living in this world, feel like you have to conform to the machine in order to survive while stripping your identity, soul to do it, but I've refuse to protecting my truth,love,beauty lock away in a secret compartment within my chest ... Guess I'm going through some hard stuff right now don't know if I'll come out on the other side sure is hard finding your place in world that so load and fast, extroverted hard line way of being... Rather lose it all than lose my soul lose what good and beautiful, may not have much always give ya hand, a hug, love, throw my coat over ya keep you warm, all we got is one another, some people don't have that but where family is lost family can be gain through the kindest of strangers just being kind to each other, think I'm going on ,heart bleeding pretty hard these day... Going find food much love to everyone truly all very special!!
I am neurodivergent - autistic, dyslexic and introvert. I am also HSP but I have always considered that to be part of autism. I completely agree with what Jeffrey Kane describes in these excerpts as that is my experience too. It’s funny that every autistic person is different but we all share the common trait of social difficulties.
Unfortunately I went through most of my working life before being diagnosed at 55. It was a massive relief getting that diagnosis, finally knowing that I wasn’t broken or deficient in some way, just different.
I managed to get by in the early years of work by gravitating towards jobs that were technical and required me to work on my own and not in a team. It was only when I decided to stretch my boundaries by taking on a job in a Japanese motor manufacturer, running a small technical department in an open plan office, that I really ran into trouble. The technical side was easy, but the team building activities and endless meetings were very difficult for me. And I was under constant scrutiny from a Japanese person put in my team to keep an eye on things. I lasted just over a year in that job before having a nervous breakdown.
After a year recovering, I went back to working on my own, self employed for as long as I could before health issues forced me to move out of London to a more rural setting. I eventually ended up working part time in a university, in the computer department. Now there is an environment where you see neurodivergence flourishing. Geeks paradise!
I could talk forever on any of my special interests, but I just can’t do small talk, and never will at my age now. It’s just exhausting trying to keep up with random chatter, and frustrating not being able to contribute, as by the time I have figured out something relevant to say, the subject has changed to something else. Writing is much easier where I have time to pause and ponder and let my brain have a wander around.
PS. There is an IT company called Auticon Netherlands that specifically employs neurodivergent people and provides a low stress working environment tailored to their needs. I believe Google has a similar scheme, so things are slowly changing.
I am not introverted or autistic or "neuro-divergent" in the typical sense, however I can have "foot in mouth syndrome" (as one of my friends calls it) and open my mouth too much in large groups. I almost have to coach myself to stay quiet during large work meetings and resist the urge to say anything, because I will most likely regret it or feel badly about it later. Obviously I can't get out of trainings and many work events, but I would love the option of skipping purely social work events - that's a great takeaway from this excerpt.
I’ve known for many years that I’m an introvert, an HSP and more recently find that “neurocomplex” is the best descriptor, having explored autism. I’m not convinced I’m autistic but do relate to some of the characteristics I’ve read about.
That said, I totally relate to this piece! It’s actually the main reason I decided to start my own business.
Instead of the drain of having to connect superficially with a lot of colleagues I did not have much in common with, I’ve set up my work life so that I work from the comfort of my sensory supportive home, on Zoom.
I’ve worked with business clients & cringe at those forced team-building activities that I’ve observed my clients having to cope with. Having to go skiing with everyone-because the owner likes skiing. Having to sit in an open office -egad! Never a break from the stimulation of everything going on.
I’m a former ESL teacher who’s become an Accent Reduction coach, so my clients are international. Over the years, I’ve recommended “Quiet,” Susan, to help them navigate the American workplace.
The issues highlighted in the piece come up with my clients, too. I know that some are autistic, but I don’t think all of them are.
Another aspect of navigating the workplace that was challenging and I don’t miss is that I never was interested in going to conferences to hear about somebody’s ideas about teaching and view them as the authority. It’s really not an ego/arrogance thing; just the way my brain works, I’ve always had an ability to intuit what students need, on top of the training I went through, of course. I was always puzzled by colleagues who were uncomfortable or threatened by how I worked. I just wanted to do my thing and had zero interest in friction, competition, judgement, etc.
That’s why I absolutely love being my own boss. It’s way less draining and more fun. And I learned the hard way in that the stress of the dynamics over years left me with an arrhythmia. I’ve transformed my life in every way to put my now regulated, sensitive nervous system and now stable heart first.
Thanks for the article. These issues are incredibly important and need to be taken seriously.
Thank you for this! My 27 year old son has Aspergers and has been struggling to find and keep a full time job - even a part time one. These descriptions are very accurate from what I have seen, and your suggestions are wonderful!
So so many thoughts….this is such a beautiful piece. I think of all the teachers I’ve worked with over the years (as the school social worker) and how they didn’t understand all the internal struggles the neurodivergent kids were experiencing, how horrible class parties and group projects were for these kids… among other things. I am not working in schools anymore, I do hope the model for leading groups, differentiating in the classroom and fostering belonging in the classroom has shifted. Dandelion is a promising program I read about. Used by some big tech companies, the stuff a program that is exploring how to make interviewing and social nuance in the workplace easier to follow for the neurodivergent folks. Different kinds of interviews, a mentor to help with important nuance….email etiquette and tone etc.
There’s a pool of untapped talent that’s missed due to rigid anxiety producing interviewing practices that weed out candidates that don’t do classic interviews well. These interview techniques often don’t capture the unique brilliance found in high functioning autism or neurodivergent folks. Appreciate you shining a light on this topic Susan…💗
Undiagnosed, but I'm certain I'm autistic. I'm also an introvert who prefers one on one conversations. Put me in a group and I'm mostly silent.
Pretty much describes me too.
I have never been diagnosed, but I have my life experience to go on, and I can relate to everything in the excerpt and have had similar experiences. I am best in a quiet setting, one-on-one with people.
I am introverted, neurodivergent, and severely deaf. I love my job, but work is a challenge for me. I do my job well. I struggle with working in groups because people do not consider other people’s differences. I shut down in group settings because I can’t keep up. I am 57 years old. I feel no different now than I did 40 years ago. I hoped awareness would make a difference in how people interact with me, but it hasn’t. I look forward to reading this book. Thank you for sharing.
I totally relate to the excerpts given to us. I am ND, and introverted. So-called “Team Building” exercises do not—in any way, shape or form. Thank you, Susan, for sharing these passages with us.
I can relate, I'm ND, and this is true in family and really any gatherings beyond the workplace.
I'm introverted, HSP, probably Asperger's. It's such a relief for me to work remotely, I get to skip all the office life that would drain me completely. Team building activities are a nightmare (I've had a few when visiting the company's HQ), I feel the same way as the author, I've no idea what is expected of me and I avoid those as much as I can. It sounds like a great book, I'll probably read it when it becomes available in the US. Thank you Susan for this post.
hello...autistic and highly sensitive extrovert here which presents its own challenges.
points in the article do not resonate with me and that's okay. for example, i love improv but depend on sensory comfort to be at ease.
i'm used to being an outlier.
Have be told that could be on the spectrum plus introversion, but didn't really get that sort insight or help where I'm from but always had hard time living in this world, feel like you have to conform to the machine in order to survive while stripping your identity, soul to do it, but I've refuse to protecting my truth,love,beauty lock away in a secret compartment within my chest ... Guess I'm going through some hard stuff right now don't know if I'll come out on the other side sure is hard finding your place in world that so load and fast, extroverted hard line way of being... Rather lose it all than lose my soul lose what good and beautiful, may not have much always give ya hand, a hug, love, throw my coat over ya keep you warm, all we got is one another, some people don't have that but where family is lost family can be gain through the kindest of strangers just being kind to each other, think I'm going on ,heart bleeding pretty hard these day... Going find food much love to everyone truly all very special!!
I am neurodivergent - autistic, dyslexic and introvert. I am also HSP but I have always considered that to be part of autism. I completely agree with what Jeffrey Kane describes in these excerpts as that is my experience too. It’s funny that every autistic person is different but we all share the common trait of social difficulties.
Unfortunately I went through most of my working life before being diagnosed at 55. It was a massive relief getting that diagnosis, finally knowing that I wasn’t broken or deficient in some way, just different.
I managed to get by in the early years of work by gravitating towards jobs that were technical and required me to work on my own and not in a team. It was only when I decided to stretch my boundaries by taking on a job in a Japanese motor manufacturer, running a small technical department in an open plan office, that I really ran into trouble. The technical side was easy, but the team building activities and endless meetings were very difficult for me. And I was under constant scrutiny from a Japanese person put in my team to keep an eye on things. I lasted just over a year in that job before having a nervous breakdown.
After a year recovering, I went back to working on my own, self employed for as long as I could before health issues forced me to move out of London to a more rural setting. I eventually ended up working part time in a university, in the computer department. Now there is an environment where you see neurodivergence flourishing. Geeks paradise!
I could talk forever on any of my special interests, but I just can’t do small talk, and never will at my age now. It’s just exhausting trying to keep up with random chatter, and frustrating not being able to contribute, as by the time I have figured out something relevant to say, the subject has changed to something else. Writing is much easier where I have time to pause and ponder and let my brain have a wander around.
PS. There is an IT company called Auticon Netherlands that specifically employs neurodivergent people and provides a low stress working environment tailored to their needs. I believe Google has a similar scheme, so things are slowly changing.
Wow. I relate to everything you said and I’m somehow comforted by it. I’m not alone and less than I should be. Thank you.
I'm not autistic but I can relate to all of this.
I want to go to work for J.M.C. Kane.
I am not introverted or autistic or "neuro-divergent" in the typical sense, however I can have "foot in mouth syndrome" (as one of my friends calls it) and open my mouth too much in large groups. I almost have to coach myself to stay quiet during large work meetings and resist the urge to say anything, because I will most likely regret it or feel badly about it later. Obviously I can't get out of trainings and many work events, but I would love the option of skipping purely social work events - that's a great takeaway from this excerpt.
I’ve known for many years that I’m an introvert, an HSP and more recently find that “neurocomplex” is the best descriptor, having explored autism. I’m not convinced I’m autistic but do relate to some of the characteristics I’ve read about.
That said, I totally relate to this piece! It’s actually the main reason I decided to start my own business.
Instead of the drain of having to connect superficially with a lot of colleagues I did not have much in common with, I’ve set up my work life so that I work from the comfort of my sensory supportive home, on Zoom.
I’ve worked with business clients & cringe at those forced team-building activities that I’ve observed my clients having to cope with. Having to go skiing with everyone-because the owner likes skiing. Having to sit in an open office -egad! Never a break from the stimulation of everything going on.
I’m a former ESL teacher who’s become an Accent Reduction coach, so my clients are international. Over the years, I’ve recommended “Quiet,” Susan, to help them navigate the American workplace.
The issues highlighted in the piece come up with my clients, too. I know that some are autistic, but I don’t think all of them are.
Another aspect of navigating the workplace that was challenging and I don’t miss is that I never was interested in going to conferences to hear about somebody’s ideas about teaching and view them as the authority. It’s really not an ego/arrogance thing; just the way my brain works, I’ve always had an ability to intuit what students need, on top of the training I went through, of course. I was always puzzled by colleagues who were uncomfortable or threatened by how I worked. I just wanted to do my thing and had zero interest in friction, competition, judgement, etc.
That’s why I absolutely love being my own boss. It’s way less draining and more fun. And I learned the hard way in that the stress of the dynamics over years left me with an arrhythmia. I’ve transformed my life in every way to put my now regulated, sensitive nervous system and now stable heart first.
Thanks for the article. These issues are incredibly important and need to be taken seriously.
Thank you for this! My 27 year old son has Aspergers and has been struggling to find and keep a full time job - even a part time one. These descriptions are very accurate from what I have seen, and your suggestions are wonderful!
I know what your son is going through—my life's story. All the best to him.