Thank you for this! My 27 year old son has Aspergers and has been struggling to find and keep a full time job - even a part time one. These descriptions are very accurate from what I have seen, and your suggestions are wonderful!
This also describes the "highly sensitive" person in many ways ( See the work of Elaine Aron and others). Wouldn't it be lovely if as people we would recognize that we don't live in a "one size fits all" world, that the uniqueness that each of us brings to the whole is what is most valuable...
Susan, you may want to let Jeffery know that the pre-order link on his website goes to Amazon, but the main splash page; not a listing for his book. I tried searching for the title, but nothing came up. I would love to pre-order it!
I identify with much of this as an introvert and a person with HSP. My son is a person with highly functioning autism. A couple things stood out to me from this excerpt. When connection becomes compulsory, it ceases to be connection. Are parties considered compulsory, because they’re not spontaneous gatherings? I have never liked the feeling I get when I enter a house (or room) and am assailed by the sound of many voices talking and laughing. I agree with the writer that it is so many cues to read, interpret, and respond to, and that inevitably while processing all of that in my own slower way, the conversation has moved on, and I am left alone at the station watching the train leave without me. The other thing he wrote that struck me is that inclusion doesn’t mean treating everybody the same way. To be seen, to feel heard, is what we all want. And, I want to be better at seeing and hearing those close to me.
As a leader of a team, it is critical to understand that team building happens with trust building. As an introverted person, I certainly often feel more “different” than “connected” to other members of the team in social team building experiences. Competitions and social events that have no relationship to the work that we do are often exhausting situations for me at best and sometimes really lead me to feel that I don’t belong. The suggestions offered in the excerpt outline alternatives to establishing trusted relationships but it really takes awareness from each member of the team that each person is unique to establish and maintain trust. It takes a lot more effort to individualize an approach to team building but it is totally worth it to maximize the value derived from each member.
I can relate to some of this as a highly sensitive person (HSP), also introverted. Much of the discomfort described sounds familiar, though for different reasons. In researching the HSP trait for my hybrid memoir (to be published in 2027), I learned that the high sensitivity trait is, in some scientific circles, considered to be a neurodivergent trait. This understanding is new and not agreed with across the board, but it makes sense to me.
I'm beginning to wonder if there's really any such thing as a "normal" or "normally functioning" brain. Such a complex and little-understood organ surely has many wild and wonderful ways of expressing itself.
Neurodivergence is part of the so-called neurodiversity. Neurodiversity means brains function differently; neurodivergence includes brains that diverge from the norm, while those within the norm are called neurotypical.
As with all statistical distributions, neurotypical does not mean same, but within a certain deviation that includes the majority of all brains.
We do not know what kind of distribution brains have, and there are many dimensions of deviation. The norm is built by those who are normative, by those who create the culture because they are the majority, and therefore, neurodivergent is often associated with disorders.
HSP can well be seen as neurodivergent, and not being able to read social cues is by no means the only definition either of neurodivergence or autism. If your high sensitivity diverges enough from the norm to pose challenges with normative culture and external expectations, I would consider it neurodivergent.
I have wondered about this myself, Carol. One big difference is that sensitivity doesn’t seem to present an inherent difficulty in reading social cues (though it can become difficult in times of overload) but still it’s a very interesting thesis.
Do I consider myself introverted or autistic? Both. Just like the author, I have ASD 1 (which used to be called High Functioning Autism or Asperger's). And I am introverted by temperament. Of course, the two overlap.
Even though I neither like nor get the metaphor, as I tend to overanalyze it, I "feel seen." I am so glad that Swiss people and companies do not embrace the theater of "mandatory team building" as much as those in other cultures, like the US, and that it is not as culturally normative as in countries like Italy.
Thank you, Susan, for introducing one of us and the topic to our community. While my book "Neurodivergent Genius" looks at the challenge from 30k feet, "Quiet Brilliance" seems to focus in on the workplace. My goal is to heighten the awareness, and I am thankful for everybody joining the quiet choir.
I met my first person with autism in a preschool class I taught. It was fascinating to get to know him- his likes and dislikes- and joy. I often wonder where he is, and how he survived adolescence.
I really appreciate these words describing what I’ve seen at the office. I’ve been the one putting on the team building activities trying to get people connected. This is really eye opening. I need to read this, I have a lot to learn.
Thank you for this! My 27 year old son has Aspergers and has been struggling to find and keep a full time job - even a part time one. These descriptions are very accurate from what I have seen, and your suggestions are wonderful!
I know what your son is going through—my life's story. All the best to him.
This also describes the "highly sensitive" person in many ways ( See the work of Elaine Aron and others). Wouldn't it be lovely if as people we would recognize that we don't live in a "one size fits all" world, that the uniqueness that each of us brings to the whole is what is most valuable...
Susan, you may want to let Jeffery know that the pre-order link on his website goes to Amazon, but the main splash page; not a listing for his book. I tried searching for the title, but nothing came up. I would love to pre-order it!
I am sure that Jeffery can help you: jmc.kane@quietbrilliance.com (from his website).
I relate to so much of this as well as a HSP. Free flowing alcohol at work events does not help these situations either!
I identify with much of this as an introvert and a person with HSP. My son is a person with highly functioning autism. A couple things stood out to me from this excerpt. When connection becomes compulsory, it ceases to be connection. Are parties considered compulsory, because they’re not spontaneous gatherings? I have never liked the feeling I get when I enter a house (or room) and am assailed by the sound of many voices talking and laughing. I agree with the writer that it is so many cues to read, interpret, and respond to, and that inevitably while processing all of that in my own slower way, the conversation has moved on, and I am left alone at the station watching the train leave without me. The other thing he wrote that struck me is that inclusion doesn’t mean treating everybody the same way. To be seen, to feel heard, is what we all want. And, I want to be better at seeing and hearing those close to me.
As a leader of a team, it is critical to understand that team building happens with trust building. As an introverted person, I certainly often feel more “different” than “connected” to other members of the team in social team building experiences. Competitions and social events that have no relationship to the work that we do are often exhausting situations for me at best and sometimes really lead me to feel that I don’t belong. The suggestions offered in the excerpt outline alternatives to establishing trusted relationships but it really takes awareness from each member of the team that each person is unique to establish and maintain trust. It takes a lot more effort to individualize an approach to team building but it is totally worth it to maximize the value derived from each member.
I can relate to some of this as a highly sensitive person (HSP), also introverted. Much of the discomfort described sounds familiar, though for different reasons. In researching the HSP trait for my hybrid memoir (to be published in 2027), I learned that the high sensitivity trait is, in some scientific circles, considered to be a neurodivergent trait. This understanding is new and not agreed with across the board, but it makes sense to me.
I'm beginning to wonder if there's really any such thing as a "normal" or "normally functioning" brain. Such a complex and little-understood organ surely has many wild and wonderful ways of expressing itself.
Neurodivergence is part of the so-called neurodiversity. Neurodiversity means brains function differently; neurodivergence includes brains that diverge from the norm, while those within the norm are called neurotypical.
As with all statistical distributions, neurotypical does not mean same, but within a certain deviation that includes the majority of all brains.
We do not know what kind of distribution brains have, and there are many dimensions of deviation. The norm is built by those who are normative, by those who create the culture because they are the majority, and therefore, neurodivergent is often associated with disorders.
HSP can well be seen as neurodivergent, and not being able to read social cues is by no means the only definition either of neurodivergence or autism. If your high sensitivity diverges enough from the norm to pose challenges with normative culture and external expectations, I would consider it neurodivergent.
I have wondered about this myself, Carol. One big difference is that sensitivity doesn’t seem to present an inherent difficulty in reading social cues (though it can become difficult in times of overload) but still it’s a very interesting thesis.
Do I consider myself introverted or autistic? Both. Just like the author, I have ASD 1 (which used to be called High Functioning Autism or Asperger's). And I am introverted by temperament. Of course, the two overlap.
Even though I neither like nor get the metaphor, as I tend to overanalyze it, I "feel seen." I am so glad that Swiss people and companies do not embrace the theater of "mandatory team building" as much as those in other cultures, like the US, and that it is not as culturally normative as in countries like Italy.
Thank you, Susan, for introducing one of us and the topic to our community. While my book "Neurodivergent Genius" looks at the challenge from 30k feet, "Quiet Brilliance" seems to focus in on the workplace. My goal is to heighten the awareness, and I am thankful for everybody joining the quiet choir.
I met my first person with autism in a preschool class I taught. It was fascinating to get to know him- his likes and dislikes- and joy. I often wonder where he is, and how he survived adolescence.
I really appreciate these words describing what I’ve seen at the office. I’ve been the one putting on the team building activities trying to get people connected. This is really eye opening. I need to read this, I have a lot to learn.
Thank you, LeeAnn!