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Jacqueline Penny's avatar

I see kindness as a strength, a superpower - therefore, it constantly baffles me how many people underestimate me when I show kindness - we can be kind but have boundaries and know when we're disrespected but also have the power to rise above. It is sad and offends me that the reaction to kind women in this society as a whole is to be marginalised. We are not taken seriously or listened to, versus the treatment of people with the opposite belief - i.e. kindness equates to weakness. Great read.

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Kirk Catinna's avatar

The positive emotion, on which I receive the most feedback, is kindness. This is the emotions that drives initiative in my daily life. My wife would comment that I was being too kind to here. I would reply, I didn’t know any other way to behave.

Kindness is a blessing I was given at birth: As I have grown older, I share this blessing. Kindness knows who needs spiritual healing and a boost to their faith.. The universal message is: "This is a good world, and you are welcomed into it.”

The negative emotion that stymies me is withdrawal from the world at large. I have a characteristic placing an emotional cloak around me. The result is I discourage people from wanting to know me.

I do have a small circle of friends who love me. They encourage me to get out and be among people. The advice, I would give to myself is: “Being frightened is a strength that encourages reflection towards a goal.”

The heart needs to be lifted and

Nourished every day

Kirk Catinna

5 April 2025

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Ralph Rickenbach's avatar

It is interesting how we can see the worldview of the author and the scientists he quotes. According to many developmental models, humanity swings from self-sacrificing to self-oriented value hierarchies and back over its history. Science stems from a self-oriented value hierarchy called modernity and finds these explanations because it looks at people with a modern mindset (usually, these studies are done with students).

And before you ask, postmodernity is a self-sacrificing worldview. It builds on modernity's individualism and defies scientific methods. Moreover, the scientists conducting the studies are often still applying modern worldviews, or the studies were done before the universities adopted postmodernity.

I frequently feel that books that do not consider human development lack good explanations, as much as these explanations might fit certain subcultures.

But let's get to your questions:

Kindness and weakness can correlate. A weak person typically acts kind because they need to—everything else is dangerous. Strong people do not need to act kind, so they display genuine kindness.

I don't know whether I have alexithymia or whether my inability to interpret emotions and even feel them is part of my autism, but I am pretty emotionally blind. (I learned to fake it.) Emotions float by me on my soul stream on boats, and I observe them—as I do with thoughts. Both do not define me.

A word about the next candlelight chat: I do not believe that consciousness is as foundational as gravity. I believe that consciousness is foundational, but gravity is not, as gravity only started to exist after the Big Bang and the existence of matter, time and space.

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Suzanne Siebert's avatar

Interesting perspective.

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christopher madden's avatar

Unconditional kindness is the coin of the realm for humanity and love, especially with all the chaos, fear, and insecurity in the world now (or always…:) - much of my hope and faith rests here. Kindness is certainly not weak, but I think considering it through the lens of vulnerability feels better to me. Vulnerability strengthens; perceived invulnerability weakens. “Unconditional” deserves a few considerations: Yes = selfless & egoless love & giving, healthy boundaries, authenticity; No = self-serving intentions & ego/parts-driven, inappropriate boundaries that end up threatening core values and wholeheartedness. And in the middle of it all we dance……we love and give…..we receive……and we try to remain mindful of our true intentions always. A life’s work!

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Joey Marquart's avatar

Positive emotion I experience often: being impressed, admiring people, being touched or moved by someone’s virtue or talents. I don’t want to manage that emotion, but welcome it! The feeling of joy from witnessing someone’s goodness. Negative emotion I’d love to manage: fear, waiting for other shoe to drop.

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David McGinness's avatar

I strive to "walk gently upon this world". Having been hurt so badly in childhood I respectfully decliine to cause stress and strife for others. Many have (and still do) think of me as weak and I am OK with that.

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st's avatar

Sound fascinating, Annaka Harris chat sound very intriguing, wonder what her thoughts are unconscious can our conscious access it, maybe it does without are awareness, sorry head hurt today hard to shape thoughts as if paradoxical paradigms are floating all around me, feel are concepts on reality affect our conscious wake but this hidden layer of unconscious does to but there also the soul,spirit in all this plus how experiences affect our perceptions of conscious and unconscious, oh sorry was thinking out loud I guess. what about dissociation somehow everything interlink there some deeper link to all probably should go. Hope everyone has very lovely lovely day may love be with you all!

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Raed A Salman's avatar

Thanks a lot, I love your wishes, hope all of us having lovely day.🌹🙏❤️

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Patricia Cook's avatar

The concept of kindness is an integral part of being human. How it is executed varies from person to person. However it can merge into selfishness if the person being kind has any ulterior motives.

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Rich Day's avatar

He mentions a few reasons why people are kind, but there is one he didn’t. Having lived life, we know what it is to hurt, and having experienced this, having felt it, we don’t want someone else to hurt. I think this is a big one.

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Raed A Salman's avatar

Dear Rich!

She not he, the writer is a lady not a man.

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Jinghuan Liu Tervalon's avatar

can't wait

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Emily Burns's avatar

In my experience, people who equate kindness with weakness are immature.

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Ruchi's avatar

well said! the immature people in my family call kind people "suckers" :)

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Brenda Davies's avatar

All I know is that there have been times when I have felt weak, vulnerable or in mental/physical pain and another person's kindness has been so healing. It always moves me because it usually comes when I least expect it, and sometimes from strangers. This world could use a lot more kindness. It is the opposite of weak. I think because we see kindness as something gentle we don't always attach strength with it.

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Raed A Salman's avatar

For Annaka Harris, There is a spectrum of people who conside kindness is weaknessess. I see kindness is an attitude that we take on regardless what other think of us.

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Raed A Salman's avatar

I love the next candilight, i will prepear very well for it as long as is about my country.

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Raed A Salman's avatar

Some thinkers say that anxiety of iraqi people is a result of the two rivers “Tigris and Euphrates” which flood in spring where is no agricultural season make farmers feel worry and having so much anxiety because they need water in summer where is the boom of Agricultural crops to irrigate them. This is one of anxiety reasons beside alot, that iraqis telling about. While in Egypt the Nile river floods in summer which is good for farmers. I mean there is a historical root to the anxiety that we inherited from our anccestores.

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Susan Cain's avatar

this is so interesting, Raed. thank you for telling us, and maybe you can tell us more on Sunday too? - also, I meant to write 3000 year old, not 300 year old tablets! I've changed it now.

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Raed A Salman's avatar

No worries, it is ok.

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Raed A Salman's avatar

I will prepare very well😉

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Gloria Beetle's avatar

I do think that kindness is powerful, not weak. Also, I think that sometimes, even without the reward of future help, status, happiness, or sense of satisfaction, we are kind simply to lessen the suffering of another. No accolades. And, ALL kindness is healing, reward or not.

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flyovercountry's avatar

even if kindness is for reward, still is healing no matter a reward, and for both parties, the receiver and the giver.

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