Home, for me, at 58, is a sense of calm acceptance and celebration for where I am in my life, no matter where that physical place is. Of course, that calm eludes me much of the time, but cultivating that does seem to be the work. My childhood homes, though beautiful, sickened me rather than providing safety. So safety, too, is also key to feeling/being home. Safety within your own body; safety with your partner, friends, family, environment. Home is a place of comfort, free from all judgements including your own. Home can be a flower shop, a coffee shop, a friend's kitchen table. It doesn't just have to be your personal home. And yes, the journey of getting to this home is, most certainly, our life's work, because once we get there, we realize we are still evolving towards the next one, and the next one until, at last, our journey is complete.
During my life, I've been asked one question over and over again: "What is the purpose of life?" Sometimes in different words, but essentially the question was the same. We know two things for sure: we are born and we will die at some point, then life as we know it ends. And during the first twenty [give or take a few] years, I didn't know the answer. Raised in a orthodox Christian family, the answer was always a quote from the Holy Bible.
But after I left house, I became more and more convinced that religion was - to say it in my words - "the comfort of the afraid people". When I started my study, I became a stoic Humanist, and realized that there is no Ithaca after death, that life was the Odyssey and Ithaca combined: living a "good life" [in the philosophical sense of the word] was the goal, the Ithaca if you want to stay in tune. And the "how to live a really good life" was the Odyssey, the ongoing travel. That made one thing clear for me: the one and only purpose of life was living itself - and living it self, to get the picture right. I struggled to find humanist ethics, instead of the ethics in what we call "Holy Books" of different religions.
I actually read The Odyssey by Homer when I was probably ten years old, reading it like a fantasy story like the books of J.R.R. Tolkien. And read both The Odyssey and the Lord of the Rings-trilogy again years later. Did they provide me insight in the "Ithaca" [or goal] and/or the "Odyssey" [the road towards the goal]? Some parts did... but the best school was living my life. I fell and stood up again, countless times. And I still do, but that's all part of the Odyssey.
Hi Susan, thank you for sharing a personal anecdote and footnote, which furthers my reflection. You model for us how to end one odyssey and start another, from lawyering, which is like home away from home, to writing, which is your true home. What could have been a disquieting career, if not disconcerting, turns into a delightful Ithaka. Because of your choice, "The Quiet Life" community has emerged, and a culture has taken shape. For this home I am truly grateful.
Hey Susan! This is one of the best, most meaningful articles of yours that I've read. Thank you for writing it... Also, your articles and The Marginalian have inspired me to read poetry, let alone Cavafy. Poetry is very cool! The Odyssey is poetry...
You've written to not be afraid of your longing and to follow it. I was very close to doing just that but "real life" got in the way... Again... And my longing is all about the subject of "home" - what it is, what it isn't and, whether I can experience it. Then there's the cultural and political conflict about what it is... But I'm still breathing and able to soldier on.
I feel like I'm still on my journey, even though I'm almost 60! I started in a new industry this year and I'm constantly learning and I love it! I feel like I'm focusing more on relationships and on caring for myself than I ever have before. The road has obstacles sometimes but I keep moving forward.
I'm 58 and just figuring things out. My midwestern sister and brother-in-law just announced their retirement at 55, and I thought, "What? I'm just getting started!"
A house is not a home, just as a destination is not a destiny. In the first half of life, we pursue the material, the physical, and the visible. Eventually, we are pursued by an awakening when we sense a tinge of homesickness, an implanted desire for homecoming, and a longing for our personal Ithaka. The journey is less about finding our place in the world and more about pining for an intimate belonging at home's table.
The inner voyage begins. We notice the slow work of being shaped by life into who we truly are and who we are meant to be. Each circular path we take serves as a stepping stone, progressing in nonlinear ways, toward the psychological, spiritual, and invisible reality that defines our destiny. The soul yearns for depth and love. Over time, life's small odysseys yield the fruit of authenticity as we embrace the wholeness of our being - the shadow and light, as well as fragility and resilience. The soul is now in the home stretch.
I have no idea 🤷♀️ how I did this but I left my comment on substack and not the Quiet Life comments. Does anyone know how to forward and then erase it on the substack?I didn’t mean to do this.
I am so happy I recently joined The Quiet Life...if only for the poems you share and post. How wonderful! I am posting my favorite poem of all time. "The World As Meditation" by Wallace Stevens....another take on the Odyssey.
J’ai passé trop de temps à travailler mon violon, à voyager. Mais l’exercice essentiel du compositeur — la médiatation — rien ne l’a jamais suspendu en moi … Je vis un rêve permanent, qui ne s’arrête ni nuit ni jour.
— Georges Enesco
Is it Ulysses that approaches from the east,
The interminable adventurer? The trees are mended.
That winter is washed away. Someone is moving
On the horizon and lifting himself up above it.
A form of fire approaches the cretonnes of Penelope,
Whose mere savage presence awakens the world in which she dwells.
She has composed, so long, a self with which to welcome him,
Companion to his self for her, which she imagined,
Two in a deep-founded sheltering, friend and dear friend.
The trees had been mended, as an essential exercise
In an inhuman meditation, larger than her own.
No winds like dogs watched over her at night.
She wanted nothing he could not bring her by coming alone.
She wanted no fetchings. His arms would be her necklace
And her belt, the final fortune of their desire.
But was it Ulysses? Or was it only the warmth of the sun
On her pillow? The thought kept beating in her like her heart.
The two kept beating together. It was only day.
It was Ulysses and it was not. Yet they had met,
Friend and dear friend and a planet’s encouragement.
The barbarous strength within her would never fail.
She would talk a little to herself as she combed her hair,
Repeating his name with its patient syllables,
Never forgetting him that kept coming constantly so near.
I perceive the difference between the journey and the destination as being the difference between doing and being. The journey is motion, full of challenge and growth. The destination is static, hopefully enjoying the fruits... but not growing. When satisfaction becomes tedium, we start a new journey.
This is a beautiful poem by C. P. Cavafy. I see my road to Ithaka as my life journey — one on which I encounter many beautiful days and moments, as well as some difficult and frightening ones. All of them become part of my life and shape who I am. The further I go, and the more I experience life in all its colours, the more I am drawn to peace, gentleness, understanding, and caring for myself and the people I love. I no longer feel the need to prove anything. I know that even short moments can bring joy to the journey. I know my place — and I’m still curious about the world.
I especially love these lines: “May there be many summer mornings when, with what pleasure, what joy, you enter harbours you’re seeing for the first time.”
Yes but before answering? Yesterday we said sadly goodbye to the World Cup after the final match hold on a NewYourk stadium between Spain and Argentina which ended by wining Spain who we say congratulations to them and good luck to Argentina and WE LOVE YOU MESSI thanks for happiness and joy you cultivated in us along 20 years, you are a miracle really Miracle.
So we said Byee yesterday on the hope to enjoy next time after 4 years in 2030.
Regarding your questions, for me My journey in life is about historical places and traditional shops particularly those crowded by people and Themes where are the green zones and trees
Home, for me, at 58, is a sense of calm acceptance and celebration for where I am in my life, no matter where that physical place is. Of course, that calm eludes me much of the time, but cultivating that does seem to be the work. My childhood homes, though beautiful, sickened me rather than providing safety. So safety, too, is also key to feeling/being home. Safety within your own body; safety with your partner, friends, family, environment. Home is a place of comfort, free from all judgements including your own. Home can be a flower shop, a coffee shop, a friend's kitchen table. It doesn't just have to be your personal home. And yes, the journey of getting to this home is, most certainly, our life's work, because once we get there, we realize we are still evolving towards the next one, and the next one until, at last, our journey is complete.
During my life, I've been asked one question over and over again: "What is the purpose of life?" Sometimes in different words, but essentially the question was the same. We know two things for sure: we are born and we will die at some point, then life as we know it ends. And during the first twenty [give or take a few] years, I didn't know the answer. Raised in a orthodox Christian family, the answer was always a quote from the Holy Bible.
But after I left house, I became more and more convinced that religion was - to say it in my words - "the comfort of the afraid people". When I started my study, I became a stoic Humanist, and realized that there is no Ithaca after death, that life was the Odyssey and Ithaca combined: living a "good life" [in the philosophical sense of the word] was the goal, the Ithaca if you want to stay in tune. And the "how to live a really good life" was the Odyssey, the ongoing travel. That made one thing clear for me: the one and only purpose of life was living itself - and living it self, to get the picture right. I struggled to find humanist ethics, instead of the ethics in what we call "Holy Books" of different religions.
I actually read The Odyssey by Homer when I was probably ten years old, reading it like a fantasy story like the books of J.R.R. Tolkien. And read both The Odyssey and the Lord of the Rings-trilogy again years later. Did they provide me insight in the "Ithaca" [or goal] and/or the "Odyssey" [the road towards the goal]? Some parts did... but the best school was living my life. I fell and stood up again, countless times. And I still do, but that's all part of the Odyssey.
Hi Susan, thank you for sharing a personal anecdote and footnote, which furthers my reflection. You model for us how to end one odyssey and start another, from lawyering, which is like home away from home, to writing, which is your true home. What could have been a disquieting career, if not disconcerting, turns into a delightful Ithaka. Because of your choice, "The Quiet Life" community has emerged, and a culture has taken shape. For this home I am truly grateful.
Hey Susan! This is one of the best, most meaningful articles of yours that I've read. Thank you for writing it... Also, your articles and The Marginalian have inspired me to read poetry, let alone Cavafy. Poetry is very cool! The Odyssey is poetry...
You've written to not be afraid of your longing and to follow it. I was very close to doing just that but "real life" got in the way... Again... And my longing is all about the subject of "home" - what it is, what it isn't and, whether I can experience it. Then there's the cultural and political conflict about what it is... But I'm still breathing and able to soldier on.
I feel like I'm still on my journey, even though I'm almost 60! I started in a new industry this year and I'm constantly learning and I love it! I feel like I'm focusing more on relationships and on caring for myself than I ever have before. The road has obstacles sometimes but I keep moving forward.
I'm 58 and just figuring things out. My midwestern sister and brother-in-law just announced their retirement at 55, and I thought, "What? I'm just getting started!"
A house is not a home, just as a destination is not a destiny. In the first half of life, we pursue the material, the physical, and the visible. Eventually, we are pursued by an awakening when we sense a tinge of homesickness, an implanted desire for homecoming, and a longing for our personal Ithaka. The journey is less about finding our place in the world and more about pining for an intimate belonging at home's table.
The inner voyage begins. We notice the slow work of being shaped by life into who we truly are and who we are meant to be. Each circular path we take serves as a stepping stone, progressing in nonlinear ways, toward the psychological, spiritual, and invisible reality that defines our destiny. The soul yearns for depth and love. Over time, life's small odysseys yield the fruit of authenticity as we embrace the wholeness of our being - the shadow and light, as well as fragility and resilience. The soul is now in the home stretch.
This reply is as deep as the essay!
Your words are very kind. Thanks.
If I had known … keeping my spirit and body front and center!
Whatever befalls me, my soul gives me permission to release it! Never to carry with me through my Life’s Journey .
The Wisdom and Direction Journey
Brought me allows Freedom, and the ability to see the Beauty that surrounds me!
It fills who I am …
Allowing miracles to walk with me!
https://youtu.be/rI15W-BBhrw?is=UblZ2LZuOs3RU4Nz
Here is the full video
Love this post, and this poet. Want More Cavafy? Watch this amazing reading of two poems with orchestra and chorus. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/NQssUltKLl4
Will check out Cavafy, I’m very intrigued!
I have no idea 🤷♀️ how I did this but I left my comment on substack and not the Quiet Life comments. Does anyone know how to forward and then erase it on the substack?I didn’t mean to do this.
I am so happy I recently joined The Quiet Life...if only for the poems you share and post. How wonderful! I am posting my favorite poem of all time. "The World As Meditation" by Wallace Stevens....another take on the Odyssey.
THE WORLD AS MEDITATION by Wallace Stevens
J’ai passé trop de temps à travailler mon violon, à voyager. Mais l’exercice essentiel du compositeur — la médiatation — rien ne l’a jamais suspendu en moi … Je vis un rêve permanent, qui ne s’arrête ni nuit ni jour.
— Georges Enesco
Is it Ulysses that approaches from the east,
The interminable adventurer? The trees are mended.
That winter is washed away. Someone is moving
On the horizon and lifting himself up above it.
A form of fire approaches the cretonnes of Penelope,
Whose mere savage presence awakens the world in which she dwells.
She has composed, so long, a self with which to welcome him,
Companion to his self for her, which she imagined,
Two in a deep-founded sheltering, friend and dear friend.
The trees had been mended, as an essential exercise
In an inhuman meditation, larger than her own.
No winds like dogs watched over her at night.
She wanted nothing he could not bring her by coming alone.
She wanted no fetchings. His arms would be her necklace
And her belt, the final fortune of their desire.
But was it Ulysses? Or was it only the warmth of the sun
On her pillow? The thought kept beating in her like her heart.
The two kept beating together. It was only day.
It was Ulysses and it was not. Yet they had met,
Friend and dear friend and a planet’s encouragement.
The barbarous strength within her would never fail.
She would talk a little to herself as she combed her hair,
Repeating his name with its patient syllables,
Never forgetting him that kept coming constantly so near.
Thanks for the beautiful porm!
I perceive the difference between the journey and the destination as being the difference between doing and being. The journey is motion, full of challenge and growth. The destination is static, hopefully enjoying the fruits... but not growing. When satisfaction becomes tedium, we start a new journey.
This is a beautiful poem by C. P. Cavafy. I see my road to Ithaka as my life journey — one on which I encounter many beautiful days and moments, as well as some difficult and frightening ones. All of them become part of my life and shape who I am. The further I go, and the more I experience life in all its colours, the more I am drawn to peace, gentleness, understanding, and caring for myself and the people I love. I no longer feel the need to prove anything. I know that even short moments can bring joy to the journey. I know my place — and I’m still curious about the world.
I especially love these lines: “May there be many summer mornings when, with what pleasure, what joy, you enter harbours you’re seeing for the first time.”
Yes but before answering? Yesterday we said sadly goodbye to the World Cup after the final match hold on a NewYourk stadium between Spain and Argentina which ended by wining Spain who we say congratulations to them and good luck to Argentina and WE LOVE YOU MESSI thanks for happiness and joy you cultivated in us along 20 years, you are a miracle really Miracle.
So we said Byee yesterday on the hope to enjoy next time after 4 years in 2030.
Regarding your questions, for me My journey in life is about historical places and traditional shops particularly those crowded by people and Themes where are the green zones and trees