A question you really should ask yourself
(and it will only take a minute)
“In the third trimester of my life, I can’t pretend to be anyone other than who I truly am.” —
Whether you’re in your first, second, or third trimester of life, I ask you:
Have you reached this point yet, of being who you truly are? Or are you still pretending?
If you’re so inclined, please do share your answers with each other - and with me! (I’ll add my own answer in the comments, but don’t want to bias yours by giving it here.)
P.S. Are you a vivid dreamer? If so, you’ll want to mark your calendar for this Sunday’s Candlelight Chat: on October 27, at 1 pm ET.
We’re hosting Lisa Marchiano, Deborah Stewart, and Joseph Lee, the authors, therapists and co-hosts of the popular podcast, This Jungian Life (almost 14 million downloads!). We’ll discuss their forthcoming book, Dream Wise: Unlocking the Meaning of Your Dreams, a definitive handbook on Jungian dream interpretation. And then…we’ll invite you to share your dreams, for interpretation by Lisa, Deb, and Joe!
We’ll send out log-in instructions to all Quiet Life members, the day before the session. (Members can choose to watch quietly in real time; join in actively; and/or watch the recording later.)
I'm an elder now and finally, finally, coming home to myself. After a lifetime of twisting and bending and shape-shifting to try and stay safe and be liked, I realize that the person that I've been looking for has been me all along. It's interesting to notice that my own path during elderhood so far has included much isolation and alone time. I think that was the only way, for me, to finally begin to hear my own voice in the midst of all the others. There has been much sadness that I'm feeling and hearing from within.... And I'm trying to give it all the space and time that it needs. I think there is a lifetime of grief to be heard. I can feel there is much underneath that grief, but first I must honor the grief and sadness. I am more than that, and I must have the courage to go through that first, to bear witness to the tears, the losses.... To embrace the dark. It is part of me, an important part. It allows me to bear witness to the dark in others, and to offer silent companionship and understanding. What I have tried to judge and hide... turns out to be one of my greatest treasures.
The last few days, I've been joking about that meme of a few years ago--the "There are two wolves inside you" one. I'm 57 and a few years ago, my husband and I made a big move, one I wanted forever. I started a business, which is successful, against all odds, and in this moment, it's possible I could expand, which I've been turning over in my head. That's the "ambition" wolf. I'm good at my job and I get satisfaction from the success, if not all the work itself (although some of it), and care about what it adds to my community. But there is another wolf--the quiet wolf?--who just wants to hop in a travel trailer and go camping with my dogs and my watercolors. This is a lifelong question, this question of ambition vs simply being. Quiet wolf life can get a little dull: I like challenges and being engaged. But ambition wolf life gnaws at me, and leaves me feeling fragmented and inauthentic as I perform my role. The question of which direction I'll go--expand the business or contract into a more peaceful life--has led me to this very question you ask about what exactly the authentic self is. And if it's a self that is both ambitious *and* solitude-seeking, I wonder how to live within that.