A question you really should ask yourself
(and it will only take a minute)
“In the third trimester of my life, I can’t pretend to be anyone other than who I truly am.” —
Whether you’re in your first, second, or third trimester of life, I ask you:
Have you reached this point yet, of being who you truly are? Or are you still pretending?
If you’re so inclined, please do share your answers with each other - and with me! (I’ll add my own answer in the comments, but don’t want to bias yours by giving it here.)
P.S. Are you a vivid dreamer? If so, you’ll want to mark your calendar for this Sunday’s Candlelight Chat: on October 27, at 1 pm ET.
We’re hosting Lisa Marchiano, Deborah Stewart, and Joseph Lee, the authors, therapists and co-hosts of the popular podcast, This Jungian Life (almost 14 million downloads!). We’ll discuss their forthcoming book, Dream Wise: Unlocking the Meaning of Your Dreams, a definitive handbook on Jungian dream interpretation. And then…we’ll invite you to share your dreams, for interpretation by Lisa, Deb, and Joe!
We’ll send out log-in instructions to all Quiet Life members, the day before the session. (Members can choose to watch quietly in real time; join in actively; and/or watch the recording later.)
I'm an elder now and finally, finally, coming home to myself. After a lifetime of twisting and bending and shape-shifting to try and stay safe and be liked, I realize that the person that I've been looking for has been me all along. It's interesting to notice that my own path during elderhood so far has included much isolation and alone time. I think that was the only way, for me, to finally begin to hear my own voice in the midst of all the others. There has been much sadness that I'm feeling and hearing from within.... And I'm trying to give it all the space and time that it needs. I think there is a lifetime of grief to be heard. I can feel there is much underneath that grief, but first I must honor the grief and sadness. I am more than that, and I must have the courage to go through that first, to bear witness to the tears, the losses.... To embrace the dark. It is part of me, an important part. It allows me to bear witness to the dark in others, and to offer silent companionship and understanding. What I have tried to judge and hide... turns out to be one of my greatest treasures.
Welp, I am in my 3rd trimester - age 78. I relate to all the comments above and recognize many similar experiences. The disintegration period happened when I was 47 and my husband left our marriage (forcing me to divorce him), both of my kids left for different colleges, and I was on my own for the first time in my life. No spouse, roommate, parent, kids...ALONE. plus I had started a bew demanding job and a masters program in counseling that ensured I would be intimately exploring my inner world. Phew. I tell the story about first time I went grocery shopping after they all left. Mindlessly filld my cart with large sizes of ALL THEIR FOOD CHOICES. Got up to check out and it hit me! I had way too much food for just me. Even worse...I didn't even know what kind of cereal I would choose for myself. The checkout lady, seeing me freak out, said I could leave my cart and come back another time. Absolutely shocked me into reality that I didn't even know what I would choose to eat! Talk about a non-existent sense of self. The good news is that incident was a catalyst for me. Over time I curated my kitchen supplies, closet, redecorated my whole house room by room - painting them "by myself" after figuring out the colors I wanted them to be. Everything changed. I had always allowed "othering" to define me and my choices. I learned to treasure living alone. Having dates with myself. Five years later I knew who
I am and was ready to meet the man I have been married to for 25 years. I love my life!