You're not in high school anymore
Why we still feel like everyone's watching - and 5 ways to let go of self-consciousness
Have you ever heard of the Spotlight Effect? It’s the tendency to overestimate how much other people notice or care what you do.
In reality, no one is scrutinizing you, because no one cares that much. Most people are far too focused on themselves.
This is so obvious that you might ask why many of us feel like the guy in Tim Urban’s graphic.
And I think there’s one good reason: high school.
That is: most of us went to high school, which is a social fishbowl, which is to say, there really IS a spotlight on us in high school. When someone breaks up with you in high school, everyone knows, and everyone talks about it for a few days. When the smartest girl in the grade gets rejected from all the colleges, everyone knows, and everyone talks about it for a few days. Because what else are they going to talk about? They’re all swimming around a small bowl, they’re crashing into each other half the time, and that won’t change until they graduate into the mercifully vast ocean that is adult life.
So the answer to the Spotlight Effect is to realize, to deep down realize, that you’re not in high school anymore.
Easier said than done. That’s why today, I want to give you some strategies to lessen your susceptibility to the Spotlight Effect.