What My Grandfather Taught Me About Fear
He lost everyone. He still lived fully. Here's what I learned from him - and what helps me now.
I come from a family of worriers.
Yet my grandfather, who was one of the wisest and kindest people I’ve ever known, used to say: “Yes, the guns are out; yes, sometimes they’re pointing at you. But they probably won’t go off, so don’t let them spoil your life.”
This was curious advice, considering that my grandfather lost his entire family – and everyone he’d ever known up to age 17 - to the guns. He lived a full and vibrant life, but he never stopped mourning his original family. Eight decades later, he wept for them on his deathbed.
He knew that actually, sometimes the guns do go off.
But I realize now that he was probably invoking a beloved saying by Rabbi Nachman of Breslov (1772–1810), a major Hasidic spiritual leader (who suffered from depression, and was no stranger to fear):
"The whole world is a very narrow bridge, and the essential truth is not to be afraid at all."
I love this teaching because it speaks to the reality of living with fear and vulnerability, and finding courage nonetheless.
The question, of course, is how. How do we live with the knowledge that the bridge is narrow, that the danger is real — and still walk with open hearts?
Over the years, I’ve collected seven strategies — some ancient, some modern — for walking bridges with courage. Here they are: