Susan, I read Quiet years ago—and I loved it! As an introverted leader of several teams, your book has become a cornerstone in my small sphere of influence. When mentoring younger leaders—whether extroverted or introverted—I often recommend it as a first-year read, whether they’re stepping into their first “real” job or leading a team for the first time.
I’m curious: how did you take that first step, believing what you had to share was truly what you were called to write? Having a calling versus a preference—those are two very different starting points. What was your personal belief system at the time (if you don’t mind sharing)?
I ask because I’m intrigued by the part of your story where you stepped away from practicing law.
Over the years, I’ve been told many times that I should write a book. There’s a particular story that, when shared in conversation—usually over coffee on our front porch—I often hear, “You should write that down.”
In my early 30s, I spoke at a women’s conference, and the gracious way women approached me with thoughtful questions was such a blessing. There are too many reasons to share here, so I’ll try to keep this brief (though I’m not sure I’m succeeding 🤓).
Reading the letter from your publisher made me reflect again: Is now the time? Perhaps the story is more valuable and compelling than I realize. The sense of connectedness—if that makes sense—seems to endure regardless of time or age. It appears to inspire as well.
As I’ve grown older, I’ve wondered if I should take a step and begin. In my 30s, 40s, and 50s, life was simply too busy. I’ve been blessed by the responses when I’ve shared the story, but I never felt called to write it—only to share it as God provided the right people, in the right place, at the right time.
Writing is not my natural talent. My strength lies in connecting relationally—in small, intimate gatherings or one-on-one conversations. I’ve come to appreciate the curiosity people bring, often with a heart to learn and perhaps even see a small part of themselves in the story.
This is beautiful Susan. The confidence and trust in the letter must have given you a foundation to stand on. Although you would be the one who had to do the writing, you wouldn't be alone in the process. While reading your letter I had this thought that it takes a village to raise a child ... It takes a village too to write ánd publish a book too.
I myself am lately looking back at all the work I've created and am amazed by the thread I unconsciously weaved through it. It's almost as if ... No ... it is illuminating not only my work but also my life and I enjoy the fact that I have created it all. It feels like life was all this time sharing with me; this is who you are.
Some might say what a waiste of time, because I never found a publisher ... I know it enabled me to create my life :) And living in a little village where Vincent van Gogh has left his footsteps, who sold only one painting during his life ... It's never about the endresult, always about the healing aspects of the process.
I am standing on a threshold, it feels like the past is healed and the future is awaiting. I like it here for the moment. I once wanted to save the world, today I realized the world saved me :)
I hope you're fine and am curious if you're still writing?
Thank you for sharing this with this community. A peek behind the scenes- I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability. I loved Quiet. It felt like a gift, to read it. As for your editor’s letter, wow. It is all-encompassing- strong, challenging and brutally honest yet encouraging. I have been there with my own creative projects, and when I have received similarly honest feedback, my instinct is to crawl under the covers in a feeling of overwhelm. I sit with it for a while, thinking “I can’t” and then after brooding for a while, I get back in it and do the work. Ultimately, it’s up to us to explore our potential, with help along the way. Thank goodness for that.
I'm currently writing some sections for a research report, so this post couldn't have arrived at a better timing! i've struggled with the process of writing research reports, but overtime I think I've gotten better at pushing through the "messy middle". One of my realizations in the past few years was that I carried self-doubt, not feeling good enough in me, which affected my work process. Something that I still work on. I like that the letter gives helpful directions and appreciates you AND also shows that he trusts you, which I think editors/supervisors/reviewers don't always get to convey to writers. I'd like to get more of that kind of feedback. Thank you, Susan, for sharing the letter and your journey!
Susan, Thank you for taking those suggestions and moving forward to write Quiet and Bittersweet. Your books have changed me. I did receive some similar advice recently, regarding a business decision. I believe it’s time to dive a little deeper into where I’m going next.
Oh, Susan! What a great way to model HOW a book gets written. Of COURSE it's not perfect in the beginning. I love your bravery in showing how it's done. There's no shame in imperfect drafts, and I'm glad Crown knew that and supported you. This is a perfect example of simply being human. I believe we don't model this enough--for our kids, for ourselves. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing. LOVE this. You rock!
Wow, this letter is a master course in offering feedback. Brutally honest, yes, but not cruel or mean - in fact it is the opposite. The feedback is kind, direct, supportive - and it's clear the sender wants you to succeed. Thank you for sharing this as model and inspiration. I hunger for this kind of feedback in all aspects of my life (though I might need a good hug or cry after). I'd love to know how you processed this feedback and then went back to evolve the draft to produce the work we all know and love. Thank you, Susan, for the vulnerability and community.
So true - Peter is a truly kind person, so that comes through in his letter. In terms of how I processed it - I was daunted, of course, but I was also relieved, because I knew the book wasn't good yet, and I deeply wanted it to be. I was so glad to have the time and support I needed to get it right.
I think of this often when I’m in the messy middle of so many things in life. Your ability to accept the nuggets of improvement and push on to create Quiet is something I think of often. Side note…some of my favorite parts of the book is the science…and the surprising science of the overly stimulated child and the connection to introversion.
One of the other piece of research I think would be interesting is the link to being bullied or abused young, and the shift from extroversion to introversion as a means of survival. I wonder how many introverted people are going against their extroversion due to early life traumas.
I think so. Spent my life studying human behavior and the answer to this question might be a way to treat survival after abuse. The need to have social interactions but the tendency to chose the wrong people to socially interact with causing a depletion of energy needed and the isolation of introversion behavior that leads to depression when going against your natural personality.
And not only because of early life traumas ... also transgenerational traumas might turn people into introverts and I can imagine being a witness of the experiences other people have might turn people inwards and withdraw themselves from life.
Obviously, you have been fortunate in finding Crown as your publisher. I would have gladly received such a letter for any of my books, but I did not find a publisher interested in the first place. I often think of my books as "terrible first drafts."
Thank you for sharing this! What a brilliant and important gift in the formation and creation of a project. Loved reading this. Thank you!
Susan, I read Quiet years ago—and I loved it! As an introverted leader of several teams, your book has become a cornerstone in my small sphere of influence. When mentoring younger leaders—whether extroverted or introverted—I often recommend it as a first-year read, whether they’re stepping into their first “real” job or leading a team for the first time.
I’m curious: how did you take that first step, believing what you had to share was truly what you were called to write? Having a calling versus a preference—those are two very different starting points. What was your personal belief system at the time (if you don’t mind sharing)?
I ask because I’m intrigued by the part of your story where you stepped away from practicing law.
Over the years, I’ve been told many times that I should write a book. There’s a particular story that, when shared in conversation—usually over coffee on our front porch—I often hear, “You should write that down.”
In my early 30s, I spoke at a women’s conference, and the gracious way women approached me with thoughtful questions was such a blessing. There are too many reasons to share here, so I’ll try to keep this brief (though I’m not sure I’m succeeding 🤓).
Reading the letter from your publisher made me reflect again: Is now the time? Perhaps the story is more valuable and compelling than I realize. The sense of connectedness—if that makes sense—seems to endure regardless of time or age. It appears to inspire as well.
As I’ve grown older, I’ve wondered if I should take a step and begin. In my 30s, 40s, and 50s, life was simply too busy. I’ve been blessed by the responses when I’ve shared the story, but I never felt called to write it—only to share it as God provided the right people, in the right place, at the right time.
Writing is not my natural talent. My strength lies in connecting relationally—in small, intimate gatherings or one-on-one conversations. I’ve come to appreciate the curiosity people bring, often with a heart to learn and perhaps even see a small part of themselves in the story.
Here’s a story Susan wrote that might interest you: https://susancain.net/how-i-quit-my-job-became-a-writer/
This is beautiful Susan. The confidence and trust in the letter must have given you a foundation to stand on. Although you would be the one who had to do the writing, you wouldn't be alone in the process. While reading your letter I had this thought that it takes a village to raise a child ... It takes a village too to write ánd publish a book too.
I myself am lately looking back at all the work I've created and am amazed by the thread I unconsciously weaved through it. It's almost as if ... No ... it is illuminating not only my work but also my life and I enjoy the fact that I have created it all. It feels like life was all this time sharing with me; this is who you are.
Some might say what a waiste of time, because I never found a publisher ... I know it enabled me to create my life :) And living in a little village where Vincent van Gogh has left his footsteps, who sold only one painting during his life ... It's never about the endresult, always about the healing aspects of the process.
I am standing on a threshold, it feels like the past is healed and the future is awaiting. I like it here for the moment. I once wanted to save the world, today I realized the world saved me :)
I hope you're fine and am curious if you're still writing?
Thank you for sharing this with this community. A peek behind the scenes- I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability. I loved Quiet. It felt like a gift, to read it. As for your editor’s letter, wow. It is all-encompassing- strong, challenging and brutally honest yet encouraging. I have been there with my own creative projects, and when I have received similarly honest feedback, my instinct is to crawl under the covers in a feeling of overwhelm. I sit with it for a while, thinking “I can’t” and then after brooding for a while, I get back in it and do the work. Ultimately, it’s up to us to explore our potential, with help along the way. Thank goodness for that.
I love that you shared this. Peter is gifted. Thank you, I have read Quiet twice!!🤗🥰🤔
I'm currently writing some sections for a research report, so this post couldn't have arrived at a better timing! i've struggled with the process of writing research reports, but overtime I think I've gotten better at pushing through the "messy middle". One of my realizations in the past few years was that I carried self-doubt, not feeling good enough in me, which affected my work process. Something that I still work on. I like that the letter gives helpful directions and appreciates you AND also shows that he trusts you, which I think editors/supervisors/reviewers don't always get to convey to writers. I'd like to get more of that kind of feedback. Thank you, Susan, for sharing the letter and your journey!
Susan, Thank you for taking those suggestions and moving forward to write Quiet and Bittersweet. Your books have changed me. I did receive some similar advice recently, regarding a business decision. I believe it’s time to dive a little deeper into where I’m going next.
Peace.
Oh, Susan! What a great way to model HOW a book gets written. Of COURSE it's not perfect in the beginning. I love your bravery in showing how it's done. There's no shame in imperfect drafts, and I'm glad Crown knew that and supported you. This is a perfect example of simply being human. I believe we don't model this enough--for our kids, for ourselves. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing. LOVE this. You rock!
Wow, this letter is a master course in offering feedback. Brutally honest, yes, but not cruel or mean - in fact it is the opposite. The feedback is kind, direct, supportive - and it's clear the sender wants you to succeed. Thank you for sharing this as model and inspiration. I hunger for this kind of feedback in all aspects of my life (though I might need a good hug or cry after). I'd love to know how you processed this feedback and then went back to evolve the draft to produce the work we all know and love. Thank you, Susan, for the vulnerability and community.
So true - Peter is a truly kind person, so that comes through in his letter. In terms of how I processed it - I was daunted, of course, but I was also relieved, because I knew the book wasn't good yet, and I deeply wanted it to be. I was so glad to have the time and support I needed to get it right.
I think of this often when I’m in the messy middle of so many things in life. Your ability to accept the nuggets of improvement and push on to create Quiet is something I think of often. Side note…some of my favorite parts of the book is the science…and the surprising science of the overly stimulated child and the connection to introversion.
yes - I do think those parts resonated especially for me, too, during the research process - like OMG AHA, THAT is why I am the way I am.
One of the other piece of research I think would be interesting is the link to being bullied or abused young, and the shift from extroversion to introversion as a means of survival. I wonder how many introverted people are going against their extroversion due to early life traumas.
and an important one.
I think so. Spent my life studying human behavior and the answer to this question might be a way to treat survival after abuse. The need to have social interactions but the tendency to chose the wrong people to socially interact with causing a depletion of energy needed and the isolation of introversion behavior that leads to depression when going against your natural personality.
that's a fascinating question.
It is. And a fascinating topic
And not only because of early life traumas ... also transgenerational traumas might turn people into introverts and I can imagine being a witness of the experiences other people have might turn people inwards and withdraw themselves from life.
Obviously, you have been fortunate in finding Crown as your publisher. I would have gladly received such a letter for any of my books, but I did not find a publisher interested in the first place. I often think of my books as "terrible first drafts."