Thanks for sharing Susan. As writer and researcher, I used to think that I should have the last word, but editors do, and they are invaluable. You hinted at also using friends to comments. I always send first drafts to a wide network of writers, researchers, and friends -- their feedback is invaluable. But, having an editor like Peter is a gift. John
Thank you so much for entrusting us with these details. What a great editor and teacher Peter is! That’s really a mentor. And we see the result of this effort of you both, this great book that shifts social perspective around the world! I‘m not surprised it took such a lot of work, one can sense it is something skilfully distilled.
Oh, and your questions hit the nail for me. Yes, I am stuck at the moment with my creative path. It would be great to have someone like Peter around now! I have ideas which I know would be able to touch a core with many people, but I can’t grasp the very essence of them, it’s still a puzzle where the pieces are not yet connected to show the coherent picture. I‘m half into a children’s book about a child-father topic - what it means to be close emotionally but separated by circumstance. At the same time, a very strong pull wants me to connect with people and their topics through photography. Sometimes I think I have to choose one, to decide, but do I when the pull is do strong?
I‘m interested to see what others of our community here write, I‘ll take my evening off and read. XOXO - Christiane
Two months ago, I wrote the last of a series of essays, and I have been stuck since then. Susan, your editor's words, 'you need to raise the stakes here, first in your own mind, perhaps, and then on the page', animate me. He permitted you to talk louder, but first, the inner work; then the outer words. By serendipity, he invites me to silence the critic within, then to reclaim my confidence and let words show up on the screen, as I am doing now. That's a hopeful next step.
Thank you for sharing your process of writing the book Susan, it was interesting to have an insight into the work involved, and although it must have been tough at the time, the finished book is something to be proud of.
It is very rare for me to ever complete a task straight off first time. Most things I do take two or three attempts, and my feedback mainly comes in the form of my inner critic which can be brutal at best. I just consider the first attempt as a trial run and either scrap it and start again or heavily modify it. I usually find that subsequent iterations are much quicker than the initial try.
If I do something once and leave it at that, I am always left wondering if I could have done it better, but after version three I feel satisfied that I have done the best I can.
I think my mindset comes from my time as a development engineer where you start with an initial concept and continually improve it until you have a marketable product. When you buy a consumer product like a camera or a phone, there have been multiple prototypes made that went into developing the final product.
Thanks so much for sharing this. It is something I needed to hear right now. You wanted to hear some of our stories…
My story is that I published a book in 2022 that went through much of the same arc. I knew my first draft was a mess but needed some help to get it on track. The publisher could have rejected it, but when the pandemic arrived, I was assigned to an editor and a long series of FaceTime discussions. At first, she was uncertain how I would take criticism, but I was just so relieved that she could offer such practical, insightful guidance. Although it took much longer than expected, we were both satisfied with what came out the other end. (It didn’t sell 4 million copies though;).
Then earlier this year, the same publisher kicked my proposal for a next book, on a different topic, which I’d worked on for 2.5 years, out the door without much feedback beyond, “This is too sad, we can’t sell this.” For six months I’ve been trying to figure out how to proceed. Your editor’s advice to trust the intelligence and curiosity of your reader, and not to undersell what you are trying to do… that hits home with me.
The knowledge that Quiet recovered from its awkward first draft is inspiring. Obviously I need to read your book again, and instead of focusing on what you say, pay attention to how you do it. (I did that with Rebecca Skloot’s amazing The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, which I understand had a similarly extended birth.)
Oh wow, Susan. This brought tears to my eyes. Not sure why - I think it's the message that you're "underselling what this book offers the reader" coupled with the invitation to "suprise us." Of course! As in introvert, it takes a LOT for me to actually share with anyone beyond my trusted small crew the deep thoughts and ideas I carry around inside. (Someone said the other day that I'm "hiding in plain sight." Argh.) This letter is a good reminder that as scary as it is for me to take that risk, the rewards could be amazing. I am so so grateful that Peter saw and believed in the value of your work and communicated and connected with you so wisely. What a great loss to the world if Quiet had not been birthed!
Just a very short comment on this: I was nodding along, thinking "okay, this is straight forward feedback, but delivered warm and kindly, if it were addressed to me I could work with that"... and then THE horror of horrors happened as he wrote: "Surprise us."
Wow! Thank you so much for your vulnerability to share this part of your writing journey. How lucky to have such an insightful, supportive and challenging editor all in one person. All of us readers are thankful for your partnership as the outcome was powerful. I aspire to have the kind of impact you have had on introverts like myself. I am writing a book on introverted leadership and see it as the complement to your book providing practical actions leaders can take to address all the opportunities and challenges you highlight and I have experienced. It is challenging when my editor takes out big sections of the chapters or renames a framework to provide more clarity. I know she has the best intent to make it more accessible and impactful to the reader. But it is hard to see your baby get criticized. Your strength, resilience and persistence to not get dissuaded by the challenges in your editor's feedback and to see the gems is remarkable and inspiring. I will think of you when I feel down, or not worthy, or frustrated going through the editing process. If Susan can take the heavy feedback and create something even greater, so can I. Thank you again for sharing this very personal story and for your continued thought leadership allowing all of us introverts to share our gifts.
Thank you sincerely for sharing this Susan. Such an act of generosity. I appreciate this phrase in his feedback “not so much a call to arms as it is a whack on the side of the head”. Saying to the world, here it is the truth about Quiet and its amazing author!
I so admire those who write, to create something from nothing.
I’ve written most of my life, starting with a diary, journaling and turned to writing poetry which almost became my secret code for private thoughts.
Now in retirement and having lived through unspeakable loss, I decided to compile what I can find into one space. Four journals, scraps of paper, art books with words written in desperation… and a dozed poems for children and a handful of stories.
After a few writing courses I’m stuck. I do find the writing and publishing world overwhelming and intimidating.
Do I try to have anything of my little pieces published? Edited? Do I have the stamina?
Or can I handle a little help with editing and then print a few copies for my son, perhaps future grandchild, great nieces and nephews ..? I don’t know.
So for now I trust something with nudge me either way.
Now we can get some inkling of how complex and demanding it is, to create such a masterpiece! What took you two years to create a kernel of a masterpiece would take me two decades to produce... something.
Having started in science and heavy philosophy, my writing approach still tends to be slow and overly "careful", and it's a challenge to let go and let the words flow. I do find it helps, though, to start with an outline and work toward progressively detailed layers... a "top down" approach.
Separately: I marveled at how personal, yet professional, Peter's letter was. It radiates how he was working with you and not making demands of you.
I am currently painting a very ambitious 5 panel watercolor project for a friend. Pro bono. The aqua boards are a new material for me- and expensive. My technique has to be perfect.
And it wasn’t.
I put them away for a month, just thinking over and over, when will I be mentally ready to scrub them clean (yeah, amazing, right??!!) and begin again. I was just not mentally ready.
And then a good friend came over, I showed her all around my studio and then shamefully showed her the 5 boards. She looked at them with candid compassion.
“Anne, you can do better, look what you did here, just repeat this and you will do it perfectly.”
I hugged Amy so tight. Her honest and direct criticism empowered me to try again.
I am so grateful for this act of love! And grateful you posted your letter. Thank you Susan. 🥰
Thanks for sharing this encouraging yet and extensive critique of your first draft. I would really have to want my book to happen in order to find the willingness to turn around and keep at it. Writing is hard. Rewriting is harder.
When I wrote poems in college, I had an external push to keep editing until they were honed. I just started writing poems again, and I'm great at getting the initial idea on the page, but during editing, I reach a point where my inner critic, which is nowhere near as gentle as your editor, tells me there's nothing there worth working on. I get disheartened and don't want to push through that difficult moment because, after all, I'm sure no one is going to read it anyway, and writing is hard!
I wish I had a gentle outside critic who would point out awkward phrasing, choppy rhythm and vague imagery, among other things, and make suggestions. I wish I would want more to write for writing's sake and push through the hard stuff. So far, my solution is to put the poem away and look again after some time has passed. A fresh eye has helped me see both what's good and what could use more work, and I'm more inclined to tackle it again with new enthusiasm after giving it a rest.
Oh, Susan, wow. For many years now, I've come upon a comment, essay or book that has landed at the exact moment I needed it. Today, your email about creative work was yet another call to me to dig deeper. I have wrapped up my book, given it to trusted readers and paid a developmental editor to review it. Still, I feel that there is a pivot I need to make or a hole I have to fill. I don't see it but I know it is there. I wish I could borrow your amazing editor. It isn't easy having our creative work critiqued, but when done with care, it can be an act of love. Of course, finding your book, Quiet, was something of a lifesaver for me at just the right moment and for one of my daughters. As always, thanks.
Thanks for sharing Susan. As writer and researcher, I used to think that I should have the last word, but editors do, and they are invaluable. You hinted at also using friends to comments. I always send first drafts to a wide network of writers, researchers, and friends -- their feedback is invaluable. But, having an editor like Peter is a gift. John
Hi Susan,
Thank you so much for entrusting us with these details. What a great editor and teacher Peter is! That’s really a mentor. And we see the result of this effort of you both, this great book that shifts social perspective around the world! I‘m not surprised it took such a lot of work, one can sense it is something skilfully distilled.
Oh, and your questions hit the nail for me. Yes, I am stuck at the moment with my creative path. It would be great to have someone like Peter around now! I have ideas which I know would be able to touch a core with many people, but I can’t grasp the very essence of them, it’s still a puzzle where the pieces are not yet connected to show the coherent picture. I‘m half into a children’s book about a child-father topic - what it means to be close emotionally but separated by circumstance. At the same time, a very strong pull wants me to connect with people and their topics through photography. Sometimes I think I have to choose one, to decide, but do I when the pull is do strong?
I‘m interested to see what others of our community here write, I‘ll take my evening off and read. XOXO - Christiane
Two months ago, I wrote the last of a series of essays, and I have been stuck since then. Susan, your editor's words, 'you need to raise the stakes here, first in your own mind, perhaps, and then on the page', animate me. He permitted you to talk louder, but first, the inner work; then the outer words. By serendipity, he invites me to silence the critic within, then to reclaim my confidence and let words show up on the screen, as I am doing now. That's a hopeful next step.
Thank you for sharing your process of writing the book Susan, it was interesting to have an insight into the work involved, and although it must have been tough at the time, the finished book is something to be proud of.
It is very rare for me to ever complete a task straight off first time. Most things I do take two or three attempts, and my feedback mainly comes in the form of my inner critic which can be brutal at best. I just consider the first attempt as a trial run and either scrap it and start again or heavily modify it. I usually find that subsequent iterations are much quicker than the initial try.
If I do something once and leave it at that, I am always left wondering if I could have done it better, but after version three I feel satisfied that I have done the best I can.
I think my mindset comes from my time as a development engineer where you start with an initial concept and continually improve it until you have a marketable product. When you buy a consumer product like a camera or a phone, there have been multiple prototypes made that went into developing the final product.
Dear Susan
Thanks so much for sharing this. It is something I needed to hear right now. You wanted to hear some of our stories…
My story is that I published a book in 2022 that went through much of the same arc. I knew my first draft was a mess but needed some help to get it on track. The publisher could have rejected it, but when the pandemic arrived, I was assigned to an editor and a long series of FaceTime discussions. At first, she was uncertain how I would take criticism, but I was just so relieved that she could offer such practical, insightful guidance. Although it took much longer than expected, we were both satisfied with what came out the other end. (It didn’t sell 4 million copies though;).
Then earlier this year, the same publisher kicked my proposal for a next book, on a different topic, which I’d worked on for 2.5 years, out the door without much feedback beyond, “This is too sad, we can’t sell this.” For six months I’ve been trying to figure out how to proceed. Your editor’s advice to trust the intelligence and curiosity of your reader, and not to undersell what you are trying to do… that hits home with me.
The knowledge that Quiet recovered from its awkward first draft is inspiring. Obviously I need to read your book again, and instead of focusing on what you say, pay attention to how you do it. (I did that with Rebecca Skloot’s amazing The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, which I understand had a similarly extended birth.)
Keith
I think there is an audience for "too sad" - I wonder if worth trying it out here on Substack.
and yes Rebecca Skloot did take ages w her book too!
Oh wow, Susan. This brought tears to my eyes. Not sure why - I think it's the message that you're "underselling what this book offers the reader" coupled with the invitation to "suprise us." Of course! As in introvert, it takes a LOT for me to actually share with anyone beyond my trusted small crew the deep thoughts and ideas I carry around inside. (Someone said the other day that I'm "hiding in plain sight." Argh.) This letter is a good reminder that as scary as it is for me to take that risk, the rewards could be amazing. I am so so grateful that Peter saw and believed in the value of your work and communicated and connected with you so wisely. What a great loss to the world if Quiet had not been birthed!
Agree, it takes stamina and endurance to take the risk to be a visible introvert :):) phew, sometimes it's a marathon.
Just a very short comment on this: I was nodding along, thinking "okay, this is straight forward feedback, but delivered warm and kindly, if it were addressed to me I could work with that"... and then THE horror of horrors happened as he wrote: "Surprise us."
funny, Greta was struck by that line, too. :)
Thank you for sharing this letter (helps me persevere in the writing process) and thank you for persevering and writing Quiet! (and Bittersweet!!)
Wow! Thank you so much for your vulnerability to share this part of your writing journey. How lucky to have such an insightful, supportive and challenging editor all in one person. All of us readers are thankful for your partnership as the outcome was powerful. I aspire to have the kind of impact you have had on introverts like myself. I am writing a book on introverted leadership and see it as the complement to your book providing practical actions leaders can take to address all the opportunities and challenges you highlight and I have experienced. It is challenging when my editor takes out big sections of the chapters or renames a framework to provide more clarity. I know she has the best intent to make it more accessible and impactful to the reader. But it is hard to see your baby get criticized. Your strength, resilience and persistence to not get dissuaded by the challenges in your editor's feedback and to see the gems is remarkable and inspiring. I will think of you when I feel down, or not worthy, or frustrated going through the editing process. If Susan can take the heavy feedback and create something even greater, so can I. Thank you again for sharing this very personal story and for your continued thought leadership allowing all of us introverts to share our gifts.
goosebumps, thank you Jennifer, and keep going!
Thank you sincerely for sharing this Susan. Such an act of generosity. I appreciate this phrase in his feedback “not so much a call to arms as it is a whack on the side of the head”. Saying to the world, here it is the truth about Quiet and its amazing author!
I so admire those who write, to create something from nothing.
I’ve written most of my life, starting with a diary, journaling and turned to writing poetry which almost became my secret code for private thoughts.
Now in retirement and having lived through unspeakable loss, I decided to compile what I can find into one space. Four journals, scraps of paper, art books with words written in desperation… and a dozed poems for children and a handful of stories.
After a few writing courses I’m stuck. I do find the writing and publishing world overwhelming and intimidating.
Do I try to have anything of my little pieces published? Edited? Do I have the stamina?
Or can I handle a little help with editing and then print a few copies for my son, perhaps future grandchild, great nieces and nephews ..? I don’t know.
So for now I trust something with nudge me either way.
Thank you everyone for this amazing space ✍️
I'm so sorry for your unspeakable loss, Julie, so sorry.
Also - whether or not you end up publishing your work, I believe that writing itself is a kind of sacrament.
Thank you so much Susan. I appreciate your encouragement. Writing has been one saving grace through despair.
Now we can get some inkling of how complex and demanding it is, to create such a masterpiece! What took you two years to create a kernel of a masterpiece would take me two decades to produce... something.
Having started in science and heavy philosophy, my writing approach still tends to be slow and overly "careful", and it's a challenge to let go and let the words flow. I do find it helps, though, to start with an outline and work toward progressively detailed layers... a "top down" approach.
Separately: I marveled at how personal, yet professional, Peter's letter was. It radiates how he was working with you and not making demands of you.
I am currently painting a very ambitious 5 panel watercolor project for a friend. Pro bono. The aqua boards are a new material for me- and expensive. My technique has to be perfect.
And it wasn’t.
I put them away for a month, just thinking over and over, when will I be mentally ready to scrub them clean (yeah, amazing, right??!!) and begin again. I was just not mentally ready.
And then a good friend came over, I showed her all around my studio and then shamefully showed her the 5 boards. She looked at them with candid compassion.
“Anne, you can do better, look what you did here, just repeat this and you will do it perfectly.”
I hugged Amy so tight. Her honest and direct criticism empowered me to try again.
I am so grateful for this act of love! And grateful you posted your letter. Thank you Susan. 🥰
I need to email with a staff person in order to make a change. Caroline
Thanks for sharing this encouraging yet and extensive critique of your first draft. I would really have to want my book to happen in order to find the willingness to turn around and keep at it. Writing is hard. Rewriting is harder.
When I wrote poems in college, I had an external push to keep editing until they were honed. I just started writing poems again, and I'm great at getting the initial idea on the page, but during editing, I reach a point where my inner critic, which is nowhere near as gentle as your editor, tells me there's nothing there worth working on. I get disheartened and don't want to push through that difficult moment because, after all, I'm sure no one is going to read it anyway, and writing is hard!
I wish I had a gentle outside critic who would point out awkward phrasing, choppy rhythm and vague imagery, among other things, and make suggestions. I wish I would want more to write for writing's sake and push through the hard stuff. So far, my solution is to put the poem away and look again after some time has passed. A fresh eye has helped me see both what's good and what could use more work, and I'm more inclined to tackle it again with new enthusiasm after giving it a rest.
Oh, Susan, wow. For many years now, I've come upon a comment, essay or book that has landed at the exact moment I needed it. Today, your email about creative work was yet another call to me to dig deeper. I have wrapped up my book, given it to trusted readers and paid a developmental editor to review it. Still, I feel that there is a pivot I need to make or a hole I have to fill. I don't see it but I know it is there. I wish I could borrow your amazing editor. It isn't easy having our creative work critiqued, but when done with care, it can be an act of love. Of course, finding your book, Quiet, was something of a lifesaver for me at just the right moment and for one of my daughters. As always, thanks.
And as for me, I will forever remain… betwixt and between!
:-)
“Betwixt and Between”
When you’re a soul who’s “betwixt and between”,
It’s hard to know just what to do!
I write neither short nor long, as you’ve seen,
I’m betwixt and between the two.
My poems? Not great, but they might bring a smile..
My prose is grammatically unsound...
I’ll figure it out, but it might take awhile,
Till my future is finally found.
RD. :-)