We recently dropped one of our sons at college, and officially became “empty nesters”.
The house does feel overly quiet and empty, as advertised.
On the way home, I had a few moments of nausea, which is my characteristic response to grief.
But for the most part we’ve been pleased — my husband Ken and I feel infinitely proud of our kids, and happy for them, and delighted by hearing about their new adventures.
And we’re turning to each other more.
Last night I dreamed that we were enrolling together as freshmen at my own alma mater, and that Ken loved the campus — because there was a river running through it.
Rivers, of course, represent the flow of time, and boundaries between worlds, and thresholds from one state of being to another.
And this river didn’t just appear at the edge of campus, the way rivers usually do in real life. This river RAN THROUGH the campus. In other words – this transitional state we’re in is not peripheral to our new stage; it’s fundamental to it.
The dream could have shown us graduating together, but it didn’t. We were freshmen.
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Sometimes I can’t get over the extent to which our dreams speak in deeply known and ancient symbols.
And how, despite our “dream-makers” speaking to us, night after night, in this powerful language, we rarely take the time to listen to them.
Our dreams really are, as Freud said, the “royal road to the unconscious.”
Given how much wisdom and revelation they contain, the extent to which we tend to ignore them is incomprehensible.
(You might want to check out this past Kindred Letter on How to Interpret Your Dreams:
How to interpret your dreams
Have you heard stories… of people who dreamed they were unexpectedly pregnant, only to discover that in fact they were? Of dreams that seemed to predict the future? Or revealed to them the answer to questions that had long been troubling them? Or helped them make a difficult decision?
Have you had an evocative and deeply telling dream recently?
I’d love to hear. (This is not an idle question — it relates to my next big project, about which more soonish. Suffice it to say that it’s no coincidence that my dream was situated at my alma mater — because I am going back to school.)
Please do share!
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Dreams are so powerful! 2 out of my 4 kids have "left the nest" and the last 2 are middle/high school. Our house is SO much quieter lately. I am 46, newly graduated from grad school for MA in Counseling, about to re-enter work force after 20 years. And I CANNOT STOP CRYING! I got real quiet this morning and let the tears speak through journaling...I am grieving the season of child rearing that is over..those young children/young parent years. My identity in them and the RHYTHMS and ROUTINES that the school year has brought us for the last 15 years. It's just nice to be able to name what is happening to me...a grief season, an in-between, a disorienting time of not recognizing who I am becoming. I got up off the couch to check email and saw yours. Thank you for sharing, and cheers to your new adventure :)
I rarely remember dreaming at all, and when I do, the dream evaporates from my mind quickly. But a few weeks ago, I had a vivid, colorful dream that I can still recall. My husband and I were looking out of our living room window at our old dogwood tree, chock full of white blooms. And dangling from its limbs were bright green Granny Smith apples! What a beautiful dream! I want to follow up about its symbolism.