The delicate dance of introvert-extrovert relationships

9 ideas for your marriages, friendships, and work dynamics

Image by Paco Yao

Dear You,

I get a LOT of questions about the delicate dance of introvert-extrovert relationships. Questions like this:

“Hello, Susan! I’m married to an introvert and found your book QUIET to be helpful and encouraging. I would love more guidance in how to navigate relationships (particularly marriage) with an introvert and extrovert. I love depth and cozy and intimate, and I also enjoy stimulation of action and adventure and people; I just seem to desire more of that than he does.”

-Lauri

I thought today that I would answer Lauri’s question - and speak to all of you who wonder about such relationships, whether in the context of love, marriage, friendship, or workplace dynamics.

Dear Lauri,

As an extrovert married to an introvert, it’s natural that you would have such a question. After all, personality psychologists have called introversion and extroversion the “north and south” of human temperament. If your husband points north and you point south — if his appetite for quiet contrasts with yours for stimulation — it’s natural that you’ll need some workarounds.

But first, some good news.