I have been trying to level up my career for a few years, quite unsuccessfully. At my company we have the ability to reach out to colleagues for mentoring. I requested a meeting with a senior leader and within the first minute of our Teams chat he asked me if I was introverted, I said yes, and he immediately responded that I would not be a good Product Manager because I'm "too shy". Very disheartening and I'm so tired of being placed in a box before I even have the chance to prove myself.
I left the corporate world 45 years ago after 20 years of struggling to be heard above the din of the extroverts. I subsequently spent 30 years coaching managers in multi-nationals in the UK, US, Europe and Asia. In my opinion there has been some progress in recognising the need to find ways to enable introverts to be heard.
My personal experience is that I, and other introverts, are heard when we are expressing ourselves about issues that strongly interest us. We tend to be less vocal when we feel we are being cajoled to comply with outside forces. The important thing for me was to uncover my deep interests and aptitudes. Then I can fly. This worked for many of my clients.
A few of my own introvert on-the-job cringes: (1) 💥🗯📣bombardment with overly energetic bubbly greetings every morning at work; (2)⏳️ interminable committee meetings where info could have been simply emailed; (3) 😫 expected participation in group projects (lemme do my work independently without all the commentary and chatting ad nauseum) 🖐🏽 Raise your hand if you also despised those school group assignments; (4) 😱 "open concept" work spaces without any privacy (sorry, redundant) -- quelle horreur!! (5) 🥳 after hours loud social events and office parties. YKWIM?!
We need better understanding of introversion in the workplace, and that introverts are not shy or socially evasive, but that we need space, we need time to think, we need quiet. It needs to be understood that loud and chaotic environments hinder our ability to work effectively. Working from home can be a huge help for some, but it seems like that option is not as favorable these days.
I have an autistic son who is extremely intelligent, but he cannot work in an environment with distractions--noise, people coming and going, interruptions. His thoughts move so quickly that even a minor distraction causes him to lose his train of thought, and then he's frustrated and can't get back on track. Even at home, he struggles with distractions.
I'm hoping, someday, that introversion won't be seen as a negative trait, but one, that if a person has the environment in which they can thrive, will allow others to see the potential in those who are introverts.
In my opinion, I think one of the greatest boons for introverts at work is the ability to work from home. Unfortunately, I am seeing that right being taken away inch by inch, company by company. I was even in contact with a recruiter for a climate tech company which required people to be in the office. This made no sense to me, and I said as much to the recruiter. If they truly cared about the environment, they would not require people to pollute the air to get to work.
Fewer wasteful meetings is also great help for me. I need long stretches of quiet time to get any significant amount of work done. Something like Teams is supposed to reduce meetings, but that can sometimes be more of a time sink than meetings are, especially when there are a dozen or more chats to follow.
One of the first times I learned anything about introversion or had it addressed in a workplace was when I was working as a resident assistant at my university. A job which leans towards extroversion but which I enjoyed. We all took personality tests, and I realized I was an introvert. I thought it was very eye-opening. So I think the very act of acknowledging that some staff members are introverts is a great thing. However what happened next says still more.
When my fellow staff and I revealed our personality types, we found out I was the only introvert. The others immediately expressed I guess, "concern" for me. One even gave me a hug. This was many years ago, so I can't recall the moment in great detail, but I seem to recall a vibe of them feeling that I was at a disadvantage to the group's extroverts. My boss at the time shut down the sympathetic expressions, and I don't remember if it came out at the time or later, but he too had tested as an introvert.
Thinking back on it now, I think it shows clearly that just being aware teams include introverts is not enough. People have to recognize that there is nothing wrong with it and team members like this are an asset and should be valued. Years later, I hope there are more people who understand this. Work like yours Susan helps with that.
Oddly, I discovered the characteristics of being an introvert through early childhood education. There I began to see myself in the children I worked with who were quiet. How did I grow up with the values of an extrovert world questioning whether I belonged. Education is a one way mirror that sets goals and collects data. My first awakening was when I was observed as a teacher and evaluated on the percentage of students engaged in learning. Mind you I was one adult and 27 children ages 5, 6, 7 and 8, Mind you the expectation was for a one lesson performance evaluation. What does it look like for an introvert to be engaged in learning?
I was a scientist working at GlaxoSmithkline "awhile" back. Our group was growing and the management decision was made to move to a new building with an "open" seating plan. After 3-4 months I, along with several others, was called into a meeting to address the problem of a LOT of people resigning. I spoke up first and said - it's simple! The reason is the open seating plan. The idea was for scientists to share ideas with each other in an easy way. It completely backfired on GSK. I said you are taking introverted people from their own cubicles and throwing them into an open seating plan where they are FORCED to behave completely against their nature. My manager did not understand what I was saying - he was completely oblivious and dismissed what I said.
Happy World Introverts Day! I love your quote Susan - There is zero correlation between being the best talker, and having the best ideas. It helps me keep going.
Well done Susan for being a pioneer in this field. Even though I am long retired now, I am happy to see that change is happening. I have done quite a bit of work in the past on autism awareness with local authorities and the health service, and I think there are some similarities in needs for introverts, having a foot in both camps here. We made recommendations for workplace adjustments for autistic employees including, a low noise and low light environment, screens around desks to reduce visual disturbance, a coloured flag on the desk to indicate when a person can or can’t be disturbed, one to one meetings rather than in large groups, quiet spaces to decompress, employees to have their own computer set up how they like rater than hot-desking and sharing computers. A lot of this could equally apply to schools and colleges also. Many people are visual thinkers too so information needs to be distributed in a more graphical form rather than reams of written text.
As I have mentioned before, my time at the Honda Motor Company HQ didn’t end well. They were very performance oriented which they rewarded well, while the introverts had a tough time.
I would say the number one priority (which I also advocated for autism) is awareness training for management. If they aren’t aware of the needs of introverts, they won’t be looking to address them, and will continue to push introverts into the extrovert mould. What it needs is for someone to develop a training program for managers, perhaps someone who has written a book on the subject!
So this doesn't address your question absolutely directly but for me, my introversion plays a huge part in a career shift. I used to produce talk radio programs and later debated politics and culture on national TV, so arguing for change was my world. But when my oldest daughter started to have behavioral health challenges, I realized I couldn't argue her back to health. I had some hard won insights around the futility of debate, ultimately leading me down a path of questioning the whole value of "winning" an argument to create change in any capacity. Now I coach other parents in how to listen to their kids. I wonder if an on air round table "working" environment (Fox News, CNN etc) could ever embrace introverts or if that structure is inherently hostile to values of introversion? I recently guested on a podcast with a topic "Can Debate and Nonviolent Communication (NVC) coexist?" NVC is the communication framework I now coach parents in and I still don't know! Here's the link: https://open.spotify.com/episode/1w8EH7hPZQ5N8Q4sOecbky
Maybe the etymology of the word "debate" helps you find an answer. It comes from "debatare", which means "to fight it out," and is related to the same root as "battle."
Yes that helps clarify. Thank you! If the intention on debate is to win, that seems inconsistent with NVC, but if the need is for impact, to contribute, debate can be consistent.
In the 1970s I worked for a government agency. In a very big building, there was one little room (about ~ 8'x8' maximum) with a sign by the door that said "Meditation Room". It had the feel of a tiny, dimly lit chapel though I don't remember any religious symbology. I, myself, used it to... well... meditate (Transcendental Meditation was big then). Very seldom did I encounter anyone else using the room. Separately: my office was open plan.
Susan, thank you so much for recommending Jeri Beingham's webinar. It was amazing! I loved hearing the generational perspectives and reflecting on how being a boomer and an introvert has played out in my personal life and my professional life.
Oh, I just remembered a supervisor training I attended (for therapists no less!) a few years ago and nightmare of all nightmare ways to begin it at 8 am we were asked to participate in a ridiculous ice-breaker that sounded so obnoxious that I left the room for the entirety of it and told the facilitator at lunchtime that it is too much to expect introverts to participate in such activities when we were there for training. I did not sugarcoat my dismay (like I usually do-likely because I was morning and I am crabby in the morning when I have to interact with humans). She acted completely surprised and shocked about my feedback-which told me everything I needed to know about her… she was surely an extrovert!
Your comment reminded me about a work conference for banking compliance professionals ( lots of introverts in this field of work ) I attended about 10 years ago. I kid you not when I tell you that the opening session started at 8 am in a large hotel ballroom with Vegas style crazy colors and designs carpet, disco lights flashing, loud fast paced music blaring, and the event organizer was walking briskly throughout the tables with a microphone and asking people at random why they decided to attend. I lasted about 3 minutes before I decided I would not be attending the opening session and unapologetically stood up, gathered my things, pushed my chair in to the table, and walked out. Ridiculous way to start a conference. Event planning teams need to have both extroverts and introverts represented.
I have been trying to level up my career for a few years, quite unsuccessfully. At my company we have the ability to reach out to colleagues for mentoring. I requested a meeting with a senior leader and within the first minute of our Teams chat he asked me if I was introverted, I said yes, and he immediately responded that I would not be a good Product Manager because I'm "too shy". Very disheartening and I'm so tired of being placed in a box before I even have the chance to prove myself.
I left the corporate world 45 years ago after 20 years of struggling to be heard above the din of the extroverts. I subsequently spent 30 years coaching managers in multi-nationals in the UK, US, Europe and Asia. In my opinion there has been some progress in recognising the need to find ways to enable introverts to be heard.
My personal experience is that I, and other introverts, are heard when we are expressing ourselves about issues that strongly interest us. We tend to be less vocal when we feel we are being cajoled to comply with outside forces. The important thing for me was to uncover my deep interests and aptitudes. Then I can fly. This worked for many of my clients.
A few of my own introvert on-the-job cringes: (1) 💥🗯📣bombardment with overly energetic bubbly greetings every morning at work; (2)⏳️ interminable committee meetings where info could have been simply emailed; (3) 😫 expected participation in group projects (lemme do my work independently without all the commentary and chatting ad nauseum) 🖐🏽 Raise your hand if you also despised those school group assignments; (4) 😱 "open concept" work spaces without any privacy (sorry, redundant) -- quelle horreur!! (5) 🥳 after hours loud social events and office parties. YKWIM?!
The book Quiet by Susan Cain should be required reading for all business majors and companies should include it in their leadership training programs.
We need better understanding of introversion in the workplace, and that introverts are not shy or socially evasive, but that we need space, we need time to think, we need quiet. It needs to be understood that loud and chaotic environments hinder our ability to work effectively. Working from home can be a huge help for some, but it seems like that option is not as favorable these days.
I have an autistic son who is extremely intelligent, but he cannot work in an environment with distractions--noise, people coming and going, interruptions. His thoughts move so quickly that even a minor distraction causes him to lose his train of thought, and then he's frustrated and can't get back on track. Even at home, he struggles with distractions.
I'm hoping, someday, that introversion won't be seen as a negative trait, but one, that if a person has the environment in which they can thrive, will allow others to see the potential in those who are introverts.
In my opinion, I think one of the greatest boons for introverts at work is the ability to work from home. Unfortunately, I am seeing that right being taken away inch by inch, company by company. I was even in contact with a recruiter for a climate tech company which required people to be in the office. This made no sense to me, and I said as much to the recruiter. If they truly cared about the environment, they would not require people to pollute the air to get to work.
Fewer wasteful meetings is also great help for me. I need long stretches of quiet time to get any significant amount of work done. Something like Teams is supposed to reduce meetings, but that can sometimes be more of a time sink than meetings are, especially when there are a dozen or more chats to follow.
My hope is that as introversion becomes more integrated that so will the misconception that introverts are shy.
One of the first times I learned anything about introversion or had it addressed in a workplace was when I was working as a resident assistant at my university. A job which leans towards extroversion but which I enjoyed. We all took personality tests, and I realized I was an introvert. I thought it was very eye-opening. So I think the very act of acknowledging that some staff members are introverts is a great thing. However what happened next says still more.
When my fellow staff and I revealed our personality types, we found out I was the only introvert. The others immediately expressed I guess, "concern" for me. One even gave me a hug. This was many years ago, so I can't recall the moment in great detail, but I seem to recall a vibe of them feeling that I was at a disadvantage to the group's extroverts. My boss at the time shut down the sympathetic expressions, and I don't remember if it came out at the time or later, but he too had tested as an introvert.
Thinking back on it now, I think it shows clearly that just being aware teams include introverts is not enough. People have to recognize that there is nothing wrong with it and team members like this are an asset and should be valued. Years later, I hope there are more people who understand this. Work like yours Susan helps with that.
Oddly, I discovered the characteristics of being an introvert through early childhood education. There I began to see myself in the children I worked with who were quiet. How did I grow up with the values of an extrovert world questioning whether I belonged. Education is a one way mirror that sets goals and collects data. My first awakening was when I was observed as a teacher and evaluated on the percentage of students engaged in learning. Mind you I was one adult and 27 children ages 5, 6, 7 and 8, Mind you the expectation was for a one lesson performance evaluation. What does it look like for an introvert to be engaged in learning?
I was a scientist working at GlaxoSmithkline "awhile" back. Our group was growing and the management decision was made to move to a new building with an "open" seating plan. After 3-4 months I, along with several others, was called into a meeting to address the problem of a LOT of people resigning. I spoke up first and said - it's simple! The reason is the open seating plan. The idea was for scientists to share ideas with each other in an easy way. It completely backfired on GSK. I said you are taking introverted people from their own cubicles and throwing them into an open seating plan where they are FORCED to behave completely against their nature. My manager did not understand what I was saying - he was completely oblivious and dismissed what I said.
This is exactly the point I was making about the need for management training on introversion! I too had to endure the open plan office.
Happy World Introverts Day! I love your quote Susan - There is zero correlation between being the best talker, and having the best ideas. It helps me keep going.
That is one of my favorite Susan Cain quotes too!!❤️
Well done Susan for being a pioneer in this field. Even though I am long retired now, I am happy to see that change is happening. I have done quite a bit of work in the past on autism awareness with local authorities and the health service, and I think there are some similarities in needs for introverts, having a foot in both camps here. We made recommendations for workplace adjustments for autistic employees including, a low noise and low light environment, screens around desks to reduce visual disturbance, a coloured flag on the desk to indicate when a person can or can’t be disturbed, one to one meetings rather than in large groups, quiet spaces to decompress, employees to have their own computer set up how they like rater than hot-desking and sharing computers. A lot of this could equally apply to schools and colleges also. Many people are visual thinkers too so information needs to be distributed in a more graphical form rather than reams of written text.
As I have mentioned before, my time at the Honda Motor Company HQ didn’t end well. They were very performance oriented which they rewarded well, while the introverts had a tough time.
I would say the number one priority (which I also advocated for autism) is awareness training for management. If they aren’t aware of the needs of introverts, they won’t be looking to address them, and will continue to push introverts into the extrovert mould. What it needs is for someone to develop a training program for managers, perhaps someone who has written a book on the subject!
Hi Susan,
So this doesn't address your question absolutely directly but for me, my introversion plays a huge part in a career shift. I used to produce talk radio programs and later debated politics and culture on national TV, so arguing for change was my world. But when my oldest daughter started to have behavioral health challenges, I realized I couldn't argue her back to health. I had some hard won insights around the futility of debate, ultimately leading me down a path of questioning the whole value of "winning" an argument to create change in any capacity. Now I coach other parents in how to listen to their kids. I wonder if an on air round table "working" environment (Fox News, CNN etc) could ever embrace introverts or if that structure is inherently hostile to values of introversion? I recently guested on a podcast with a topic "Can Debate and Nonviolent Communication (NVC) coexist?" NVC is the communication framework I now coach parents in and I still don't know! Here's the link: https://open.spotify.com/episode/1w8EH7hPZQ5N8Q4sOecbky
Maybe the etymology of the word "debate" helps you find an answer. It comes from "debatare", which means "to fight it out," and is related to the same root as "battle."
Yes that helps clarify. Thank you! If the intention on debate is to win, that seems inconsistent with NVC, but if the need is for impact, to contribute, debate can be consistent.
In the 1970s I worked for a government agency. In a very big building, there was one little room (about ~ 8'x8' maximum) with a sign by the door that said "Meditation Room". It had the feel of a tiny, dimly lit chapel though I don't remember any religious symbology. I, myself, used it to... well... meditate (Transcendental Meditation was big then). Very seldom did I encounter anyone else using the room. Separately: my office was open plan.
Susan, thank you so much for recommending Jeri Beingham's webinar. It was amazing! I loved hearing the generational perspectives and reflecting on how being a boomer and an introvert has played out in my personal life and my professional life.
Oh, I just remembered a supervisor training I attended (for therapists no less!) a few years ago and nightmare of all nightmare ways to begin it at 8 am we were asked to participate in a ridiculous ice-breaker that sounded so obnoxious that I left the room for the entirety of it and told the facilitator at lunchtime that it is too much to expect introverts to participate in such activities when we were there for training. I did not sugarcoat my dismay (like I usually do-likely because I was morning and I am crabby in the morning when I have to interact with humans). She acted completely surprised and shocked about my feedback-which told me everything I needed to know about her… she was surely an extrovert!
Your comment reminded me about a work conference for banking compliance professionals ( lots of introverts in this field of work ) I attended about 10 years ago. I kid you not when I tell you that the opening session started at 8 am in a large hotel ballroom with Vegas style crazy colors and designs carpet, disco lights flashing, loud fast paced music blaring, and the event organizer was walking briskly throughout the tables with a microphone and asking people at random why they decided to attend. I lasted about 3 minutes before I decided I would not be attending the opening session and unapologetically stood up, gathered my things, pushed my chair in to the table, and walked out. Ridiculous way to start a conference. Event planning teams need to have both extroverts and introverts represented.