And I should say to you that it is very kind of you to include your readers or audience in the category of your family.
And We are all one family. I said that to you one time on Facebook and I still recall that you felt so happy that I describe you and your fans all like one family.
So it is never surprising me when you consider us as like your lovely small family and we are of course your family.
years ago i was on my first (and last) spelunking expedition and discovered the hard way that deep into the cave i activated a claustrophobic issue ... I announced my departure, turned, and quickly left the cave ... upon reaching the entrance but still in the cave, i saw before me sunshine and green grass ... after leaving the cave behind me, i knelt on the ground and literally kissed the grass! stress to joy 🤩
I finally saw the interview and did a double take when one of the interviewers said isn't it uncomfortable to live a quiet life? And then I realized you must be sitting amongst extroverts in that room. 😂 But as usual you were so eloquent and gracious with your answers. Can't wait to listen to the book. I'll probably listen to it while doodling on my iPad tomorrow. It'll be a good day. THANKS SUSAN!!
Yes! I have definitely had my Christmas tree moment! After spending 8 weeks running a Summer Camp that was stressful, draining and overwhelming, the moment came when all the kids had gone home and the staff were beginning to say goodbye to each other. Watching them hug and arrange to meet up in the future and tell me how much they will miss the camp, listening to them say what a life-changing experience it was, made all of the craziness and chaos worth it! Then flying home and seeing the bright lights of my home city for the first time in almost 8 months - it was a beautiful sight! The happiness I felt was overwhelming! :)
Susan, will you start discussions about each episode of the series soon? It is mildly frustrating to listen to them, being nudged towards the community, and not being able to share one's thoughts and questions immediately in a place that feels right because it is for that specific topic. A dedicated space that can be found again, not lost in the fleeting distance of a timeline, buried under a multitude of helpful valuable new articles. A place to return to and for future readers to indulge in. Not that my thoughts are worthwhile such care and visibility, but the many of the many are.
Frankly, I am starting to get truly dissatisfied with Substack. It is not really about communities. It is about reactions to publications and broadcasting.
Substack is obviously better than most such platforms by providing comments to notes and chat starters as well. And I dread having something like a Facebook group with its fleeting and overwhelming nature and invitation to babble.
Am I missing a possibility to start conversations or ask questions?
What a challenge. A new audiobook when getting a subscription to Audible. A candlelit Sunday with an author of an appraised book. No, wait–three of them in a row. This is so tempting.
I just managed over the last few months to downsize my budget and streamline it to things I really need out of necessity, and now this.
I love to come to things prepared to get the most out of it. I would have loved to read the books of the authors who appear over the next few Sundays.
I love to devour all books of authors I deem worthwhile, and Susan certainly belongs into that category–why else should I be spending money monthly to follow her here.
This newsletter hit me after I had a demanding coaching session in the city in a restaurant and knew that I had a train ride of almost an hour in front of me to get back home.
What a relief it was to step into the backyard of the medieval complex o f houses where I am living and look at the lake in its winter attire, calm, dark gray, soothing, out of time.
It sounds like it's feeling like too much? But - while it's great to read the books before the candlelight chats, really I think they'll be standalone discussions that you don't need to prepare for - and if you do want to, you can probably find the books in your library so you don't have to spend additionally. I hope this helps, and that this finds you in your backyard by the lake.
Not too much by any means! I am thrilled to hear of all these voices I have not known before, and the ability to dive deeper with some I have known for a while.
My challenge is this: While I have this insatiable intellectual thrive, the flow of money at my disposal is rather dry, and my responsibilities towards my wife are growing as she is getting less healthy as I am getting healthier again.
This results in me being torn and tormented. I have for decades had people tell me what I could read or contemplate, and now that I am free and have found my heart's longing, my possibilities are limited and limiting.
Please do not read this as a call for you to change anything. It's merely an outcry of frustration. I will survive!
Good for you, Susan. I'm so pleased the TV slot went well and the synchronicity with the wonderful shot of the Christmas tree was delightful.
Recently, I attended a Foo Fighters concert at a stadium here in Sydney. It was an incredibly hot day (circa 104 degrees Fahrenheit for all those across the Pacific) and I melt in such heat. I worry about such occasions, travel, parking, sitting in amongst 60,000 people, etc, etc. The concert was great, a wonderful southerly came through during it to cool the temperature, and then getting home was a breeze. It all went so smoothly and I felt especially grateful. I'm sure I was smiling like you were when I got home at midnight.
PS. Thank you for your kindness in providing us access to the Audible audiobook. I'm a very visual person and struggle to listen well to audiobooks, so I will leave your very generous gift on the shelf.
Susan, I loved you book Quiet and I'm really looking forward to reading/listening to the others. About the "resistance" question from your interview: I feel very pulled toward the "quiet life" where I spend time expressing my creativity. But I do feel resistance to it as well. I think it's easier to run here and there finding things to do instead of sitting with myself, my distracted thoughts, my sometimes very old pain/grief, the critical inner voice, etc. because I know when I do my creative things like music or writing, it all comes up to the surface and it's uncomfortable. Have you ever felt like that? What's something you did to get past it and keep going anyway? Thanks ❤
It’s with the utmost humility I offer this thought Cassandra. The uncomfortable is often the place that offers the most growth. It’s a place to dip into ( only when we feel safe enough to do so ). I whole heartedly agree with Susan. It’s never to be forced. I’m writing this because I read some of your writing. It’s beautiful. Can the uncomfortable feelings that accompany it be reframed as a gift? To others? Who benefit by your sitting with it? And to yourself by creating reverence for the places you’ve traveled? Keep writing. I’m looking forward to reading and benefiting from your creativity.
Thanks for your kind words Marychris! I really love your suggestion, to reframe the struggle as a gift, what a great reminder. Going to sit down thinking of this instead of what I usually think and I’m sure it will be just what I need to keep going. Thank you ❤️
Hi @Cassandra Leigh. I've been thinking about your question for the last few hours. The best I can get to, so far, is this: I'm not happy to be in the grips of old pains/griefs or critical inner voices any more than you or anyone else, and naturally want to avoid those states. I think though that for me the dynamic just happens to be the reverse of what you're describing - i.e, to me, writing or other forms of creativity is a release from those states, not a catalyst of them, and the same goes for just talking about them - it feels soothing, rather than aggravating. If that's not how it is for you, I'm not sure there's benefit in forcing it. I would maybe start by just asking - what, for YOU, creates release and soothing? And then I would follow that trail. (Do you know, off the top of your head?)
Thanks Susan. I think this is really helpful. Instead of forcing myself to sit with something aggravating, doing something else that’s more soothing can still be creative...and can still be part of my writing practice too - it might just be more of a give and take for me where I get release/ creative energy from other things and then return to writing. Such a good reminder. Thank you! 💞
Congratulations, Susan! Attractive selfie; I definitely see the joy of relief in your pretty face. Also, ME TOO: “I always think it’s the OPPOSITE that’s scary - i.e., living in a social world where you’re not SUPPOSED to talk about the things that seem most essential to talk about.” ❤️
Plus, I can share this:
I had an important decision to make, and I’d been putting it off for far too long. So, just before dawn one morning, I set out on a meditative walk. My intentions were twofold: to make the final decision with help from my inner wisdom and perhaps view a beautiful sunrise.
After about 30 minutes of walking on my neighborhood’s lakeside trail, I felt an immense sense of relief as the right decision came to me and, a few minutes later, tremendous joy as one of the most spectacular sunrises I’d ever seen immersed me in shades of pink, tangerine, vermillion, amber, and gold. I wish I could show you the photograph I took. It almost doesn't look real.
It felt like all of Nature was rewarding me and approving of the choice I had finally made.
oh I would love to see the photo! I'm going to initiate a chat in the next week or two, inviting everyone to share photography, so maybe you could share it then?
Tomorrow is one of the festivals in India where families and relatives come together to celebrate with born fire and dancing and getting together - and it's going to be a stressful one for me - meeting so many people at once - I guess I'll look for a beautiful vista after it's over.
I have less context about American shows but I know TODAY's show is a big deal - so many congratulations ❤️
thank you Sanya! and yes I totally understand this about the festival. Just know that you are not alone in your stress - I'm guessing a good 15-20% of the attendees will feel the same way.
There are so many personal introvert truths that are socially unacceptable in our society to say. Susan ran up against one of those during her TV interview. Some others:
"I enjoy being alone for most of my day, every day."
"I get annoyed when perfect strangers expect me to have a trivial conversation with them."
"I really don't care how many other subscribers a newsletter has."
I have always imagined that I can hear God’s voice in the songs of birds. One day, fully stressed in the early months of the pandemic, I was standing in my backyard too worried to notice what is usually a breath taking view of my farm. I had lost a couple of friends and my father-in-law to that damned virus so I wasn’t thinking about much else. But then, as if on cue, a single Purple Martin returned from his winter vacation in Central America, perched on his house and began chortling away. They have a beautiful voice. Chortling, clicking, singing with an indescribable melody. Now, I am not an emotional person. My wife describes it as like beating a dead horse. But that day I started sobbing. So uncontrollably, that poor Martin must have thought I was crazy. But I was a mess because it was God who was telling me that everything was going to be ok. The Martin was just the messenger. And suddenly, my farm looked beautiful again.
Thank you for so eloquently sharing this, Joel. I've felt that way many times while alone in Nature. After one such encounter that made me cry in gratitude, I wrote this little haiku: silver flash / in the moonlit creek / dolphin breathes
Sossoo!
And I should say to you that it is very kind of you to include your readers or audience in the category of your family.
And We are all one family. I said that to you one time on Facebook and I still recall that you felt so happy that I describe you and your fans all like one family.
So it is never surprising me when you consider us as like your lovely small family and we are of course your family.
Thanks Sossoo🌹🌹🌹
years ago i was on my first (and last) spelunking expedition and discovered the hard way that deep into the cave i activated a claustrophobic issue ... I announced my departure, turned, and quickly left the cave ... upon reaching the entrance but still in the cave, i saw before me sunshine and green grass ... after leaving the cave behind me, i knelt on the ground and literally kissed the grass! stress to joy 🤩
oh I can very much imagine this
I finally saw the interview and did a double take when one of the interviewers said isn't it uncomfortable to live a quiet life? And then I realized you must be sitting amongst extroverts in that room. 😂 But as usual you were so eloquent and gracious with your answers. Can't wait to listen to the book. I'll probably listen to it while doodling on my iPad tomorrow. It'll be a good day. THANKS SUSAN!!
Thank *you*, Yana! (Glad to know I'm not the only one who did a double take.)
Yes! I have definitely had my Christmas tree moment! After spending 8 weeks running a Summer Camp that was stressful, draining and overwhelming, the moment came when all the kids had gone home and the staff were beginning to say goodbye to each other. Watching them hug and arrange to meet up in the future and tell me how much they will miss the camp, listening to them say what a life-changing experience it was, made all of the craziness and chaos worth it! Then flying home and seeing the bright lights of my home city for the first time in almost 8 months - it was a beautiful sight! The happiness I felt was overwhelming! :)
I can so imagine this!
(are you the person who has written before, about running a summer camp, outside your comfort zone)?
Yes, that was me!! :)
Just downloaded the audiobook-- I'm excited to listen!
I got my copy of the audiobook so excited to start listening to it!!!!
Congratulations, dear Susan. Purchased! ❤️🙏
Thank you, @Cara!
Susan, the link or form does not work anymore. 🥹
Hello Raed! Do you mean the form that allows you to sign up for the free version of the audiobook? Or a different link?
Hi dear
I click on the same link you post, but dear Susan all are freez, does not work
It asks me many times to write a given word I did it but it did not work.
Ok, Susan, please don’t strain yourself. It looks no chance for me.
Does this link work? https://www.audible.com/author/Susan-Cain/B004XVMVYK
No dear Susan!
Never
oh no! hmm. Maybe just google Audible and find it that way?
It is ok Susan, no worries. I wish in the next coming time, you can address it.
Susan, will you start discussions about each episode of the series soon? It is mildly frustrating to listen to them, being nudged towards the community, and not being able to share one's thoughts and questions immediately in a place that feels right because it is for that specific topic. A dedicated space that can be found again, not lost in the fleeting distance of a timeline, buried under a multitude of helpful valuable new articles. A place to return to and for future readers to indulge in. Not that my thoughts are worthwhile such care and visibility, but the many of the many are.
Frankly, I am starting to get truly dissatisfied with Substack. It is not really about communities. It is about reactions to publications and broadcasting.
Substack is obviously better than most such platforms by providing comments to notes and chat starters as well. And I dread having something like a Facebook group with its fleeting and overwhelming nature and invitation to babble.
Am I missing a possibility to start conversations or ask questions?
Hi Ralph - yes! I'll definitely start discussions about each episode, soon.
What a challenge. A new audiobook when getting a subscription to Audible. A candlelit Sunday with an author of an appraised book. No, wait–three of them in a row. This is so tempting.
I just managed over the last few months to downsize my budget and streamline it to things I really need out of necessity, and now this.
I love to come to things prepared to get the most out of it. I would have loved to read the books of the authors who appear over the next few Sundays.
I love to devour all books of authors I deem worthwhile, and Susan certainly belongs into that category–why else should I be spending money monthly to follow her here.
This newsletter hit me after I had a demanding coaching session in the city in a restaurant and knew that I had a train ride of almost an hour in front of me to get back home.
What a relief it was to step into the backyard of the medieval complex o f houses where I am living and look at the lake in its winter attire, calm, dark gray, soothing, out of time.
It sounds like it's feeling like too much? But - while it's great to read the books before the candlelight chats, really I think they'll be standalone discussions that you don't need to prepare for - and if you do want to, you can probably find the books in your library so you don't have to spend additionally. I hope this helps, and that this finds you in your backyard by the lake.
Not too much by any means! I am thrilled to hear of all these voices I have not known before, and the ability to dive deeper with some I have known for a while.
My challenge is this: While I have this insatiable intellectual thrive, the flow of money at my disposal is rather dry, and my responsibilities towards my wife are growing as she is getting less healthy as I am getting healthier again.
This results in me being torn and tormented. I have for decades had people tell me what I could read or contemplate, and now that I am free and have found my heart's longing, my possibilities are limited and limiting.
Please do not read this as a call for you to change anything. It's merely an outcry of frustration. I will survive!
Good for you, Susan. I'm so pleased the TV slot went well and the synchronicity with the wonderful shot of the Christmas tree was delightful.
Recently, I attended a Foo Fighters concert at a stadium here in Sydney. It was an incredibly hot day (circa 104 degrees Fahrenheit for all those across the Pacific) and I melt in such heat. I worry about such occasions, travel, parking, sitting in amongst 60,000 people, etc, etc. The concert was great, a wonderful southerly came through during it to cool the temperature, and then getting home was a breeze. It all went so smoothly and I felt especially grateful. I'm sure I was smiling like you were when I got home at midnight.
PS. Thank you for your kindness in providing us access to the Audible audiobook. I'm a very visual person and struggle to listen well to audiobooks, so I will leave your very generous gift on the shelf.
Big love x
thank you, Ian!
Susan, I loved you book Quiet and I'm really looking forward to reading/listening to the others. About the "resistance" question from your interview: I feel very pulled toward the "quiet life" where I spend time expressing my creativity. But I do feel resistance to it as well. I think it's easier to run here and there finding things to do instead of sitting with myself, my distracted thoughts, my sometimes very old pain/grief, the critical inner voice, etc. because I know when I do my creative things like music or writing, it all comes up to the surface and it's uncomfortable. Have you ever felt like that? What's something you did to get past it and keep going anyway? Thanks ❤
It’s with the utmost humility I offer this thought Cassandra. The uncomfortable is often the place that offers the most growth. It’s a place to dip into ( only when we feel safe enough to do so ). I whole heartedly agree with Susan. It’s never to be forced. I’m writing this because I read some of your writing. It’s beautiful. Can the uncomfortable feelings that accompany it be reframed as a gift? To others? Who benefit by your sitting with it? And to yourself by creating reverence for the places you’ve traveled? Keep writing. I’m looking forward to reading and benefiting from your creativity.
Thanks for your kind words Marychris! I really love your suggestion, to reframe the struggle as a gift, what a great reminder. Going to sit down thinking of this instead of what I usually think and I’m sure it will be just what I need to keep going. Thank you ❤️
what an amazing set of thoughts - thank you, Marychris!
Hi @Cassandra Leigh. I've been thinking about your question for the last few hours. The best I can get to, so far, is this: I'm not happy to be in the grips of old pains/griefs or critical inner voices any more than you or anyone else, and naturally want to avoid those states. I think though that for me the dynamic just happens to be the reverse of what you're describing - i.e, to me, writing or other forms of creativity is a release from those states, not a catalyst of them, and the same goes for just talking about them - it feels soothing, rather than aggravating. If that's not how it is for you, I'm not sure there's benefit in forcing it. I would maybe start by just asking - what, for YOU, creates release and soothing? And then I would follow that trail. (Do you know, off the top of your head?)
Thanks Susan. I think this is really helpful. Instead of forcing myself to sit with something aggravating, doing something else that’s more soothing can still be creative...and can still be part of my writing practice too - it might just be more of a give and take for me where I get release/ creative energy from other things and then return to writing. Such a good reminder. Thank you! 💞
Congratulations, Susan! Attractive selfie; I definitely see the joy of relief in your pretty face. Also, ME TOO: “I always think it’s the OPPOSITE that’s scary - i.e., living in a social world where you’re not SUPPOSED to talk about the things that seem most essential to talk about.” ❤️
Plus, I can share this:
I had an important decision to make, and I’d been putting it off for far too long. So, just before dawn one morning, I set out on a meditative walk. My intentions were twofold: to make the final decision with help from my inner wisdom and perhaps view a beautiful sunrise.
After about 30 minutes of walking on my neighborhood’s lakeside trail, I felt an immense sense of relief as the right decision came to me and, a few minutes later, tremendous joy as one of the most spectacular sunrises I’d ever seen immersed me in shades of pink, tangerine, vermillion, amber, and gold. I wish I could show you the photograph I took. It almost doesn't look real.
It felt like all of Nature was rewarding me and approving of the choice I had finally made.
oh I would love to see the photo! I'm going to initiate a chat in the next week or two, inviting everyone to share photography, so maybe you could share it then?
Absolutely. 😊
Tomorrow is one of the festivals in India where families and relatives come together to celebrate with born fire and dancing and getting together - and it's going to be a stressful one for me - meeting so many people at once - I guess I'll look for a beautiful vista after it's over.
I have less context about American shows but I know TODAY's show is a big deal - so many congratulations ❤️
thank you Sanya! and yes I totally understand this about the festival. Just know that you are not alone in your stress - I'm guessing a good 15-20% of the attendees will feel the same way.
There are so many personal introvert truths that are socially unacceptable in our society to say. Susan ran up against one of those during her TV interview. Some others:
"I enjoy being alone for most of my day, every day."
"I get annoyed when perfect strangers expect me to have a trivial conversation with them."
"I really don't care how many other subscribers a newsletter has."
(Add yours...)
I don’t want to dance! I am perfectly happy sitting here at a wedding watching other couples dance.
I don’t want to be noticed. I am perfectly happy watching others being noticed.
I really, really don’t want to do group exercises. I am perfectly happy to work alone and then send you my results, in writing, later.
I don’t want to be sung to on my birthday
OMG yes re the group exercises!!
I have always imagined that I can hear God’s voice in the songs of birds. One day, fully stressed in the early months of the pandemic, I was standing in my backyard too worried to notice what is usually a breath taking view of my farm. I had lost a couple of friends and my father-in-law to that damned virus so I wasn’t thinking about much else. But then, as if on cue, a single Purple Martin returned from his winter vacation in Central America, perched on his house and began chortling away. They have a beautiful voice. Chortling, clicking, singing with an indescribable melody. Now, I am not an emotional person. My wife describes it as like beating a dead horse. But that day I started sobbing. So uncontrollably, that poor Martin must have thought I was crazy. But I was a mess because it was God who was telling me that everything was going to be ok. The Martin was just the messenger. And suddenly, my farm looked beautiful again.
this is beautiful.
Thank you for so eloquently sharing this, Joel. I've felt that way many times while alone in Nature. After one such encounter that made me cry in gratitude, I wrote this little haiku: silver flash / in the moonlit creek / dolphin breathes
That is great!