How many moments do you have left with your loved ones? The six graphs of data that everyone needs to see.
Here's a sneak peek at a crucial chapter from Sahil Bloom's bestselling new book.
“The years go by, as quickly as a wink
Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself, it’s later than you think”
—Guy Lombardo, “Enjoy Yourself (It’s Later Than You Think)
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Do you follow the work of Sahil Bloom? His new book, The Five Types of Wealth (on how to live a good life), debuts next week, and I am 100% sure it will be a bestseller; it might actually be a #1 bestseller.
I’d followed Sahil for a long time and often found myself texting his insights to our teenaged sons. And then I had a chance to meet him, when a mutual friend invited him to dinner. Honestly he seemed a little intimidating at first--something about his haircut, and the fact that he’d probably taken an ice bath and run a half-marathon before my alarm clock went off that morning. (Yes, Sahil is one of those people. :) ) But he turned out to be one of the more humble, curious, and loving people I know.
So, my Quiet Life people, I’m very happy, this week and this month, to bring you wisdom from Sahil, exclusively for our members. He’ll be our Candlelight Chat guest, on Sunday, February 23 at 1 pm ET (mark your calendars now; more info to come); and today, he’s sharing a chapter from his forthcoming book.
(This is one of the most important chapters of the book, and Sahil is sharing it exclusively with our Quiet Life members, so — while it’s great to post a screenshot on social media — please don’t post or share the full chapter.)
Here you go: Chapter 6, from The Five Types of Wealth.
The Big Question
How Many Moments Do You Have Remaining With Your Loved Ones?
“In early 2019, Alexis Lockhart was living a happy, ordinary life in Houston, Texas. The mother of three boys, ages twenty-three, nineteen, and eleven, she possessed a rare stoic awareness that her time with her sons was fleeting.
“Since they were young, I had been saying that you don’t get your children for eighteen years, you get them for about twelve or thirteen, if you’re lucky. After they cross that line, you become a chauffeur, a taxi, and a hotel—they need food, a bed, and transportation to events with friends, sports, school activities, and, soon enough, jobs and dates.”
It was that awareness that led Alexis to take advantage of every moment—of the precious time she did have with her growing boys. During spring break of that year, she surprised them with a ski trip to Colorado, a trip she called “a huge treat,” since her older sons were either working or in school at the time. Reminiscing about the adventure, Alexis broke into a smile. “It was the trip of a lifetime; many memories were made.”
A few weeks later, following her mantra of embracing every moment, Lockhart threw a small birthday party for her middle son, Jackson. “Even though he was ‘too old’ for cakes and parties, we had a family celebration with presents, a cookie cake, and candles. We celebrated him.”
Everything was right in her world. Until it wasn’t.
On May 23, 2019, the unthinkable happened: Jackson was killed in a tragic motorcycle accident, just days after celebrating his twentieth birthday.
When I received an email from Alexis in April 2024 telling me this story, it stopped me in my tracks. As a new father, I could not even bear to imagine the pain she felt in losing a child. When we spoke later, she shared photos of her boys, pausing on a photo of a four-year-old Jackson and smiling broadly. “I cannot tell you how happy he was as a little kid. He never lost that.
“Always remember,” she said, “everyone we love, they are on loan to us for a short period of time. They are gone in the blink of an eye.”
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The American Time Use Survey is a comprehensive national survey conducted annually by the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics since 2003. The aim of the survey is to provide information on how people allocate their time across a variety of activities, including paid work, household work, caregiving, active and passive leisure, personal care, and more. It’s unique in that it records real-time responses from participants throughout the day, meaning it comes as close as possible to logging how people spend their time—and whom they spend it with—on an average day.
In November 2022, I discovered the dataset1 and was hit by a tidal wave of emotions.
The discovery came at the right moment: My son was six months old, and becoming a father had changed a lot of things about my life. My relationship with time—specifically, my awareness of the passage of time—had fundamentally morphed, from one of naïve ignorance to one of anxious understanding. As a parent, you learn to track and measure time in the weeks and months of your children’s lives. You grow so accustomed to reciting their ages in these terms that it becomes second nature.
These markers create a stark awareness of lost time—of the moments you will never get back.
For me, the data further illuminated a harsh reality of the fading, ephemeral character of time—that the passage of each week and month brought us closer to the end of a chapter of life that we would never be able to reopen.
There are specific windows—much shorter than you care to imagine or admit—during which certain people and relationships will occupy your life. You may have only one more summer with all of your siblings, two more trips with that old group of friends, a few more years with your wise old aunt, a handful of encounters with that co-worker you love, or one more long walk with your parents. If you fail to appreciate or recognize these windows, they will quickly disappear.
Here are the six graphs of the data that everyone needs to see: