5 ways to respond when someone asks why you're so quiet
I'll show you what to say, but also what tone (and state of mind) to say it in
Following our last “Just Us” Candlelight Chat, I received this note from one of our Quiet Life members:
“Thank you so much for hosting this lovely gathering. It’s always such a treat to connect with fellow kindred spirits :)
I have a question: how to best respond when people say “you’re so quiet”? I’ve never really understood why people feel compelled to point it out. It seems less about making me aware of it and more about their discomfort with my communication style.
It’s not exactly an insult, but it’s not really a compliment either, especially given the way it’s often said, usually with a bit of a grimace. I once had a leader walk by my office and say, “You’re so quiet it drives me crazy!” 🤷♀️
What I also find interesting is that I’ve never heard the same kind of comment directed at someone for being “so loud.” 🤔”
I was about to launch in and give an answer but it occurred to me that so many of you have asked a variation of this question over the years. So I’m sharing my response with all of you: five ways to respond to the “why are you so quiet” question — and even more important, what tone to take, as you respond: